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--> --> A love letter on the strength of one boy, and one community By Martha Hammann Ashland When our children are born, we are filled with hopes and dreams about their future lives. We want so much for them, including, often, the fulfillment of our own unrealized desires. Mostly, we love and care for them, holding ourselves in check when we know they need to make mistakes and stumble on their own, holding their hands when we can. There is so very little over which we have any control. That lack of control became tragically apparent to me on Oct. 8, 2001. My youngest son, Brian Kinkead, suffered a cardiac arrest and nearly died. In fact, his heart went into fibrillation for 15 to 20 minutes, meaning he was without oxygen for that long. At one point, he flatlined - meaning, he was clinically dead. Thanks to the efforts of friends and paramedics, Brian survived. He was in Rogue Valley Medical Center's ICU for six weeks, three of those in a coma, and at Providence Rehabilitation Center for 23 days. Brian left Providence on Dec. 12, three days after his 18th birthday. Brian will never be the same. He has lost memories and abilities. He cannot remember going to Europe last summer, or his brother's wedding the previous year. He may never drive again. He missed his senior year of high school, although he will return to finish. He was a top student, and was planning to go to Guanajuato for second semester. He lost all that. Accepting these facts is devastating for me, at times. I can only imagine how hard it can be for my son. But Brian is alive. He can walk, talk, read, hike, swim. He is exuberant, healthy, regaining memory and strength all the time. His drawing abilities are returning. His quick wit is intact. He is loving, kind and incredibly grateful to be alive. And those of us who love him so dearly are grateful beyond words. There were times when we came to the brink of despair, when Brian was so deep in the coma that those who loved him were uncertain that he would return. Even as we held his hand in the deep of the night, even though I felt his physical presence within my body, we were terrified at times. But his powerful will to live, and the outpouring of love from family and friends brought him back. This is a love letter, and a commentary on the strength of an individual and the community that rallied around him. It is a love letter to my partner, Dave May, and my incredible son, Brian Kinkead. It is a tribute to Max and Mary, Joel, Alana, Marc, Thom, Derek, Rees, Phil Phillips, the staff at RVMC and Providence, Chris, Brooks and Rod Newton, Bruce, Bryan, Kate, Randy, Ahsa, Vanessa, John and Ethel, Caren Caldwell, David and all those who contributed to the Brian Kinkead Medical Fund, Eric Warren, Lincoln Community Church, Dan Golden, Julie Reynolds and the staff and students at Ashland High School, Dr. Gary Foster, Dr. Dee Christlieb, Dr. Jeff Solomon, PFLAG, John Curtis, Cheney Place, Gail and Glen Berk, Suzi, Colin, and Ian ... and so many, many more. My gratitude is boundless, and continues to grow, even as Brian continues to thrive. When you see Brian walking down the street, tall and lively, remember that you all contributed to getting him there. Email your... Technical questions & comments to: WebMaster Daily Tidings editorial comments & questions to: Editor Visit our other Oregon Newspapers... | Albany Democrat-Herald | Ashland Daily Tidings | Corvallis Gazette-Times | | Lebanon Express | Newport News-Times | Springfield News | Cottage Grove Sentinel | Ashland Daily Tidings 1661 Siskiyou Blvd. Ashland, OR 97520 Telephone 541-482-3456 © Copyright 2001 Lee Northwest Publishing