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May 19 , 2004 - Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels March 12, 2004 Downtown Remember those who just do good Andrew Scot Bolsinger When the lid closes on a coffin and the dirt begins piling up, few things matter. Certainly not riches, nor success, nor fame. A man - affectionately called "Boat" by some, "Jake" by me - will have the lid of his coffin closed this weekend. He was a man I once called my best friend. He was 44 years old when he died. He died without riches, notable success or fame. But the phrase that kept coming to my mind after I heard the news was probably the greatest sign of his success: He was a good man. He was simply, a good man. In that rare quality, Jake's life was a raging success. I write about him today because his life is over, and it's likely his last thoughts were tinged with regret. Regret, perhaps, that he wasn't as happy as he thought he'd be, or didn't accomplish more in the eyes of the world. In the moments after learning of his death I did a search for his name on Yahoo and Google. Nothing came up. Not a single mention. But his life should be mentioned. A written record of his worth should be available, because anyone who knew him would say he was worth remembering, that he had a good life, and that he was a good man. We don't write stories about family men. We don't hold awards for fathers of four, who go to work every day and still wake up early to take care of their kids. We don't break front page stories over men doing the dishes. But this time we will, because Jake deserves to be honored for being the guy he was. My hope is whenever anyone else types his name in a search, at least this tribute will be found. The best of times When we were close he would sometimes let on that it bothered him that life hadn't afforded him more of the riches, success and fame that others seemed to have. He was certainly talented enough. In high school, he was an excellent actor, with a beautiful singing voice. He met a nice girl who shared those interests. Rather than pursue college and a career, he married his high-school sweetheart, started having children and began working as an assignment editor for a Portland-area news station. He often sang in church, volunteered his time and even acted in plays when the opportunity arose. In the all years I have known him, he lived in the same small house, worked at the same job and did much of the same things he always did. Of course his great love was boating. We once bought a boat together and often piled their four young daughters and our three young children into our boat for an afternoon of waterskiing and playing with the kids. For us, male bonding was doing anything with at least two daughters along for the ride. Our big "night out" each week was always in. Neither family could afford to go out, especially with all the kids. So every Sunday night for years on end, we met together and played with kids, put them to bed (often unsuccessfully) and played cards. We sat until the early morning hours playing hearts, nertz and pinochle. We did that virtually every Sunday night, including on the day my son was born. True that night we didn't play as long, as my wife was tired early, but we still played. Where else would we be on such an important day? In many ways, these simple times were the best of times. A lasting legacy Boat was well-liked. We say that often, but rarely is it mostly true. Sure, everyone has a friend or two, even us crotchety folks who don't like others much. But everyone really did like Boat. He was the only 30-something guy - as opposed to a young kid looking for pay, or an old man wanting to kill time on his riding John Deere mower - who would mow your lawn to help you out. He liked most everyone. One time we took a bunch of high school kids to the beach. They wanted to play volleyball, but the beach had no nets. Boat dragged two large 4x4 posts, a shovel and a volleyball net down to the beach. Within minutes, everyone was playing. Boat put up Christmas lights, because it made his wife and kids happy, as well as all the neighbors. On days of waterskiing, he would drive our boat for hours on end, making sure everyone got a turn. Like all very close friendships, we had our time of muddled pain. We struggled to maintain a friendship through some terrific hardships that revealed the worst in all of us, even Boat. In the end, time, life and hurt pulled us apart. I eventually moved away and we hadn't talked in a very long time. I knew someday we would. Neither one of us was the type to hold on to grudges. But the end of his life came so suddenly that life did not afford us that chance. I heard life had gotten harder for him. That his easy smile and carefree approach was replaced with serious concern, even depression. I haven't really spoken to anyone who now knows him like I once did. I don't know how he felt about his life, what his concerns were, whether he fully appreciated how much he was appreciated. But I know this: B. Scott Jacob, a.k.a Boat, a.k.a. Jake, was my friend. He was a dedicated father who was loved by his wife, family and friends. He was the type of guy who had two nicknames, when most of us don't inspire one. He lived out what was important in life, even if at times he may have been resentful of it. His daughters will always be his proud legacy. And I am reasonably sure he's already found a secluded lake in heaven, where the sun reflects softly off the calm blue waters that are only disturbed by Boat, nudging the throttle a bit more toward the floor with an relaxed, satisfied smile on his face. In a perfect world we would give awards or riches or honors to people of such fiber. Instead, I offer up a small tribute, that comes to late for the man who deserved it. Still I offer it up. Scott was a very good man. Let the record forever be clear on this. DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams