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53 °F Forecast | Road Cams Friday, January 28, 2005 Today's News | Classifieds | Autos | Homes | Jobs | Tempo | Health | Community | Home Delivery SECTIONS Home Page Local News Sports Business Obituaries Life Opinion - Politics Tempo AP News Weather Classified Archives Site Map SPECIAL SECTIONS Since We Asked Outdoor Journal Menu Guide How To Guide Wellness Connection Readers' Choice Real Estate Showcase Real Estate Guide Joy Magazine Homelife Magazine Wedding Guide Passport to the Rogue Valley EXTRA Newspaper in Education Personals Movie Times TV Times E The People Volunteer Opportunities Moving to Southern Oregon? MARKETPLACE Find a Car Find a Home Find a Job Classifieds Place an ad eSouthernOregon Automotive Communities Entertainment Publications Recreation Calendar CUSTOMER SERVICE Frequent Questions Advertising Information Home Delivery Employment Contact Us Media Kit Network Affiliate Oregon Road Conditions & Cams Email Story to a Friend January 6, 2005 Retiree honors the punctually challenged In fact, he’s throwing a party for invited procrastinators tonight, or maybe later By BILL VARBLE Mail Tribune Gail Myers and his ilk would like to take over the world. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow, someday soon. Myers, of Jacksonville, plans to host a party tonight honoring procrastinators. "Procrastination has gotten a bad name because of our hurry-up society," says the retired college administrator and author. He delivered invitations to the party at more or less the last minute — although he’d meant to get around to it earlier. For the 10th year in a row he sent a holiday message to friends and family. Late, of course. He uses the tardy missive to plead the case of the 12th Night Advocates, a group consisting mainly of himself (although he has been meaning to do some recruiting). Advertisement The group advocates celebrating the Christmas holiday on the Epiphany, Jan. 6, because tradition holds that’s when the magi got to Bethlehem to visit the Baby Jesus, thereby managing to arrive seriously late and become famous at the same time. And Caspar, Melchoir and Balthzar’s plodding camels are better models for us in these stressful times than Santa’s reindeer zipping madly around, Myers says. The Advocates plan to propose a constitutional amendment making the day after Thanksgiving a holiday when only places of worship would be open — no stores. Instead of taking on the D-Day-like operation of commencing shopping that day, people could wait until they felt like it. Myers claims to have had an epiphany of his own while eating a Chinese fortune cookie. He realized the Chinese are a model of procrastination, as witness their celebration of New Year’s on Feb. 9 this year. "That’s the record," he says. The Chinese invented gunpowder, he adds, but look how long it took them to get around to inventing cannons. And some historians claim they discovered America long before Columbus, but they didn’t get around to coming back until the 1840s. Myers says his annual crusade seems to be picking up steam, slowly. Many people write back and want memberships, he says. "Not right away. In a couple weeks." Pause. "OK, most of them put it off entirely," he admits. "Those are the best prospects." Reach reporter Bill Varble at 776-4478 or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home Local News | Sports | Business | Obituaries | Life Opinion - Politics | AP News | Archives | Site Map E Southern Oregon | Classified Copyright © 1997-2005 Mail Tribune. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions Website Feedback ADVERTISERS A D V E R T I S E R S SPECIAL SECTIONS Auto Finder Job Finder Home Finder Joy Magazine Homelife Magazine Tempo Readers' Choice Real Estate Showcase Since We Asked Outdoor Journal Moving to Southern Oregon? Volunteer Opportunities Student Loan Consolidation Conference Calls - $50/Month Home Security Systems Trunks, Footlocker, Trunk, Footlockers