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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Sacramento man dies after being struck by car in Talent A tip of the cap to Medford burglar who left police with a big clue 10 things to know for Monday 'Game changer' for heart patients Emergency services, April 27 Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Sacramento man dies after being struck by car in Talent A tip of the cap to Medford burglar who left police with a big clue Emergency services, April 27 Pair who escaped North Bend prison includes Jackson County man Emergency services, April 26 Politics and Elections Arthur I. Cyr: Cuba’s enduring challenge to American foreign policy – and American politics Gov. Brown touts need for transportation funding in talk to Medford chamber Kent Bush: Clinton 2.0 is neither new nor improved Arthur I. Cyr: Britain’s earthquake election Former state Senate President Brady Adams dies Education Needs improvement SWAT students track progress of stream restoration efforts Students participate in fuel reduction effort at Ruch School New funding formula awards universities for graduating more students Official hopeful whooping cough case at John Muir contained Environment Residents say armed mine supporters sully Josephine County's reputation Armed protesters gather at Medford BLM office over Sugar Pine Mine dispute Jackson County's wildlife services agent seen as both killer and savior Biomass technology: Creating products out of former waste Sugar Pine Mine co-owner: "Please stop calling the BLM and threatening their personnel" State News What's left of Oregon battleship stands in Portland Police identify armed man killed in Salem RV standoff Bill under debate in Oregon would limit livestock antibiotics US Rep. Newhouse proposes ending protection for wolves Judge proposes Oregon bakery pay $135,000 to lesbian couple Nation - World There's a $10 million precious stone hidden in plain sight at Grand Central Tsarnaev convicted on all charges in Boston Marathon bombing Obituaries James Bortvit Eike Judy Flanagan (Parish) John R. Winkler Sr. (Wink) Alice Marie Thomas George Loal Barnett Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable Sports Latest Stories Fantasy Sports: A farewell toast to ‘niche’ faithful Portland goes timber Paul, Clippers even up series Challengers picks up wins Donahue, Beavers down USC at home Varsity 541 College Sports Donahue, Beavers down USC at home King's single lifts OSU over No. 10 USC Emmert, Silver not on same page with one-and-dones Addison gets back into rhythm with Ducks Oregon wins distance medley relay at Penn Relays Pro Sports Portland goes timber Paul, Clippers even up series Rose seals victory in New Orleans Cavaliers sweep, but Love hurt Conley to miss Game 4 Community Sports Bailey picks up modified win Wilson delivers in return of local boxing Palmer breezes to second straight men’s title Business Latest Stories Cars We Remember: Mr. Hot Rod’s 1966 Chevelle 396 Ride & Drive: 2015 Ford F-150 FX4 Hill named to state marketing board Fermentation Fest highlights Southern Oregon growth in craft brewing Travel boosting Oregon economy more than ever Real Estate News New home in an old house Naumes plans custom-crush winery in former packing house GREEN ACRES: Southern Oregon provides escape from the maddening crowd Since You Asked: Metro Medford rebranding proved economical Jackson County median home price hits $215,000 in first quarter People In Business Transportation Erickson finds room to work at Medford airport Lithia Motors nets $40.7 million in first quarter Lithia Motors reports second-best quarter ever Business briefs Medford airport's record run continues Agriculture Naumes plans custom-crush winery in former packing house New bosses take charge at Harry & David Dancin Vineyards covers up Opinion Latest Granlund cartoon: Prom safety Granlund cartoon: Prom fairy godmother Kent Bush: Joe Biden needs to run for president Granlund cartoon: Armenian atrocities Letters to the Editor, April 27 Editorials Our View: Sensation and sensibility: a balancing act Other Views: UO president search happened in the dark Our View: Buildings belong with the Jackson County Library District Our View: Public's right to film police should be protected Our View: Raises for Jackson County officials — again Letters to the Editor Letters to the Editor, April 27 Letters to the Editor, April 26 Letters to the Editor, April 25 Letters to the Editor, April 24 Letters to the Editor, April 23 Columns With a song in prisoners' hearts George Will: A Graham candidacy's fun factor Dana Milbank: The TPP is an abomination Charles Krauthammer: Obama's Nixon doctrine: anointing Iran Guest Opinion: Uniting to restore our sovereignty to we, the people Guest Opinions Guest Opinion: Uniting to restore our sovereignty to we, the people Guest Opinion: This Earth Day, we celebrate the Northwest Forest Plan The Medford School Board was wrong: 'American Pageant' is a political agenda, not history The Medford School Board was right: 'American Pageant' is a fine book, and the board did its homework Guest Opinion: Removing barriers to walking, biking benefits everyone Lifestyle Latest stories Season Stepp: Make seared steak fajitas for Cinco De Mayo Prudence Hilburn: Funnel cakes range from sweet to savory Prudence Hilburn: Mayo now used as binding agent in baking Cars We Remember: Mr. Hot Rod’s 1966 Chevelle 396 Dr. Elaine Heffner: Opting out Food Season Stepp: Make seared steak fajitas for Cinco De Mayo Prudence Hilburn: Funnel cakes range from sweet to savory Prudence Hilburn: Mayo now used as binding agent in baking Community blog: 'Good' sushi may be more rare than real wasabi Community blog: Oregon Breweries to grow or seriously to grow? Home and Garden Home Help: Upgrade your entryway with simple DIY projects Costa Living: Basking in flower power Garden Cameos: Spring is time for azaleas in the garden Dear Monty: Seven costly mistakes of new real estate investors Paul Rogers: Enjoy convenience of container gardening Health 'Game changer' for heart patients Health Watch: Tips for protecting your eyes Dr. Jeff Hersh: Could severe cramping mean endometriosis? Dr. Murray Feingold: Is pre-op testing for cataract surgery necessary? Community blog: What about Lucy? Hiking Biking Faith Religion Briefs: Friday, April 24 Religion Briefs: Friday, April 17 Religion briefs: Friday, April 10 Religion briefs: Friday, April 3 Milestones and Achievements ENGAGEMENT: Sellers-James Witham's birthday bash draws hundreds for 1950s prices Charlesworth-Murphy Drizzle doesn't dampen Pear Blossom Parade spirit New Arrivals: Sunday, April 12 Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Camelot Theatre presents 'Arsenic and Old Lace' 5 picks for live entertainment this week A Taste of Ashland pairs food and wine at galleries Rogue Valley Earth Day 2015 Regional brewers, distillers, winemakers at Harry & David Field Theater Camelot Theatre presents 'Arsenic and Old Lace' 'Secret Love' playwright Stan Lai appears in Ashland REVIEW: 'Secret Love' strikes comical, poignant balance Ashland New Plays Festival chooses new artistic director A tale of two plays at OSF Music Maria Muldaur at the Unitarian Fellowship Genticorum at Paschal Winery Southern Oregon Repertory Singers Live Music in Local Clubs The Farr Side: Slow disappearance of physical music Community Events A Taste of Ashland pairs food and wine at galleries Rogue Valley Earth Day 2015 Foreign language film festival set at SOU Regional brewers, distillers, winemakers at Harry & David Field Third Fridays celebrates poetry, student art Movies Movie review: ‘Lambert and Stamp’ doc tells who was behind The Who Reader Review: 'Danny Collins' a sentimental and funny tribute to John Lennon Reader Review: 'Birdman' for the birds Movie review: ‘Ex Machina’ is the droid you’re looking for Movie review: Fairly smooth sailing for ‘The Water Diviner’ Dining Restaurant inspections: April 26, 2015 Island Grindz serves up Hawaiian specialties Have you wandered down the Bear Creek Wine Trail yet? Restaurant inspections: April 19, 2015 Siam Cafe offers 'mild' to 'very spicy' Thai cuisine Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obits Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Special Sections Business Services NEWS NOW Sacramento man dies after being struck by car in Talent ... A tip of the cap to Medford burglar who left police with a big clue ... Parents upset that Schneider Children's Center at SOU will close ... Sacramento man dies after being struck by car in Talent ... A tip of the cap to Medford burglar who left police with a big clue ... Parents upset that Schneider Children's Center at SOU will close ... Dr. Elaine Heffner: Misreading behavior Comment By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Nov. 11, 2014 at 12:01 AM By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Nov. 11, 2014 at 12:01 AM » Social News In a recent talk on addiction the speaker, a psychiatrist who has treated many such patients expressed the belief that the motivation for such behavior is often misunderstood. His view was that addictive behavior is not an expression of pleasure-seeking and risk-taking but that alcohol and drugs were most often used in an attempt at self-medication and self-regulation by those with emotional difficulties that caused them great pain. The question raised here, as with many aspects of undesirable behavior is whether the behavior is an indication that the person is “bad” or is “sick” in some way. The idea that a person is “bad” leads to thoughts of punishment while “sick” leads to ideas about treatment. How does this apply to the behavior of children? The connection is that the way we understand behavior leads to what we decide to do about the behavior. This is relevant since in the course of their development children’s behavior is often socially unacceptable. Do we understand such behavior as an expression of where children are developmentally? Do we call children “spoiled” and blame parents? Or do we think a child has a particular problem requiring treatment or remediation of some kind? Parents – and teachers – are confronted with these questions regularly. When children “misbehave,” parents often think about discipline, perhaps a more acceptable term for punishment. Children’s behavior can be provocative and elicit the feeling that they should be punished. But sometimes children’s behavior is worrisome and leads parents to wonder if something may be wrong. Teachers deal with children in the context of a classroom. The individual child and the group can present needs that conflict at times, presenting a different kind of challenge to teachers. If a child’s behavior disrupts the class or the teacher’s agenda, this can lead to a negative judgment about the child with the implication that an absence of compliance with the teacher is willful. A child I interviewed made the point that sometimes a kid is not “getting it” – meaning what the teacher is trying to teach. When I asked her how a teacher could tell if a kid was not getting it, she said if a kid is fooling around or not paying attention. This comment matched my own observations of children who seem to be presenting behavior difficulties in school. To an experienced observer, it can become clear that a child who keeps talking to his neighbor or otherwise not paying attention, is having difficulty with the material being taught. This is sometimes interpreted as the child having a “bad attitude” in class – deliberately not paying attention and being disruptive. The alternative explanation is that a child has attention difficulties and is unable to focus. This understanding has too often led to thoughts of medication. Unfortunately, the contemporary education system does not lend itself to individual differences and needs. The current focus on tests and uniform results does not allows for diversity in teaching or the various ways in which different children learn best. Some children have difficulty learning in a group setting and can learn well when taught individually or in small groups. But how can this understanding be applied by the classroom teacher or parent? Perhaps most useful is to start without a negative interpretation of a child’s behavior. Most of the time children want to please and to succeed. Conveying to a child that we know that something is hard and want to help him or her – coming from a parent and teacher – is the first step to both understanding the problem and finding the solution. Ask the kids! Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. Dr. Heffner is the author of “Goodenoughmothering: the Best of the Blog,” as well as “Mothering: the Emotional Experience of Motherhood after Freud and Feminism.” She is a psychotherapist and parent educator in private practice, as well as a senior lecturer of education in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Heffner was a co-founder and served as director of the Nursery School Treatment Center at Payne Whitney Clinic, New York Hospital. And she blogs at www.goodenoughmothering.com. By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now MailTribune.com By Dr. Elaine Heffner More Content Now Posted Nov. 11, 2014 at 12:01 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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