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SOUTHERN OREGON JOURNAL SOUTHERN OREGON JOURNAL: Beware the vacation club sales presentation Comment By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune MailTribune.com By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune Posted Mar. 8, 2015 at 2:00 AM By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune Posted Mar. 8, 2015 at 2:00 AM » Social News This is a public service announcement for all those uninitiated hopefuls who plan to attend a vacation ownership presentation. I did this recently against my inner voices, though I knew the drill. My simple plan was to spend a couple of nights enjoying the salt spray and raucous, bounding waves at our beloved Oregon Coast. At last, my friend and I arrived at our splendid accommodations. I engaged the all-too-chipper reservation clerk — her badge read, Snow White. Snow gestured to a team of waiting presentation appointment makers and trilled, “You may get your parking pass at that desk.” Two smiling men waited, one listed from side to side in anticipation, or possibly he was fresh off the boat, but apparently this permit gesture required a team, one to say, “Here you go,” and the other to hand me the numbered tab. They had my number, all right. Their job was to secure me a seat in the Presentation Chamber of Horrors. But I was ready for them. Last time I took the $125 bait, sacrificed my pride along with 90 minutes of precious vacation time, all for filthy lucre. But I’d practiced my resolve, in front of a mirror and fully intended to enjoy the empowerment of refusing while retaining my dignity as an American. Then the listing one said, “We’d like to offer you $150 and your friend, $100. That’s $250.” He could add. I felt a warm glow next to me. I turned to see my friend’s face beaming like a Pacific Coast sunset. They had me. The man who rocked to and fro tried to pull a fast one when I chose the proffered 10:30 time slot. “Well, if you take the 10:30, I can only give you $125. Everyone wants the 10:30.” I called his bluff and told him to forget the whole thing. I heard my friend’s face fall. He chuckled and despite the fact that he’d probably be keel-hauled, he’d give me the $150. What a great time we had up to the hour of reckoning — walking in the sand, dining with my agent, cursing slow drivers up and down Highway 101. All that would come to a nerve-shattering halt. I’d suspected their first offensive would be to divide and conquer. I was so right. My presenter, Tiffany, we’ll call her, ushered me into a room of mind-numbing buzz emitting from motor-mouthed sales reps all hawking vacation memories like carnies. Each pride-deprived victim sat hapless as they waited through the prattle for the big pay-off. Tiffany ushered me into a second level of Gehenna, where I listened in rapt attention to a live Barbie doll tell us why we needed to buy up to secure our family’s place in euphoria. We were yawning, unloving clods if we refused. Finally, our sentence was up. They released us like a flock to the dovecote, where I spent another several minutes with Tiffany the Closer. Meanwhile, I had concerns of them hypnotizing my friend with shiny objects while singing “It’s a Small World.” When I asked about her, Tiffany glanced in the next room and said she was pretty sure she was filling out a credit app and that we had plenty of time. I held up my finger and said, “I’ll just go check on her.” Sure enough, they had worked their diabolical math (admittedly not her strong suit). I recoiled as I heard her say as she rubbed her head, “It sounds like a good deal.” I knew this was liquid gold falling from her tongue into their ears. They licked their lips and didn’t look at me when I touched her shoulder and reminded her of our plan. I broke the spell and felt the cursing as we escaped to the office to collect our reward. It took several miles of coastline to clear our heads, but we arrived home $250 to the good. Peggy Dover is a freelance writer. Visit her Facebook page at Peggy Dover-writer and contact her at [email protected]   By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune MailTribune.com By Peggy Dover for the Mail Tribune Posted Mar. 8, 2015 at 2:00 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... 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