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Christmastime refuge Photo by Jennifer Donahoe A mother and child share a quiet moment at Dunn House, a Jackson County shelter for abused women and children. Shelter helps abused women, children enjoy normal holiday By Jill Briskey Until about 10:30 a.m. on Monday, Eileen was enjoying her best Christmas morning in years. No abuse this year. No arguing with in-laws or fighting, added the 30-year-old Medford resident. Just your average Christmas morning in a safe place with presents, friends and good food. "Last year we didn�t have a Christmas," she says, watching her 7-year-old daughter, Emalina, scamper around the living room, Tootsie Pop in hand. "The two before that were just horrible." The two�s Christmas joy is made possible by Eileen�s decision to leave her abusive husband and by the staff at Dunn House, a Jackson County shelter for abused women and children. Just like the many survivors of physical, sexual or emotional battering at the shelter, the woman and children need help, even on Christmas Day. That�s what Dunn House, a shelter and resource facility, is all about. The shelter is funded through donations and fund-raising events. Dunn House has housed more than 10,000 women and children since it was founded in 1977. For their protection and at their request, the last names of the women interviewed for this story on Christmas Day have been omitted. Curled up on a couch, Eileen talks about leaving her abusive husband of 12 years, arriving on the doorstep of Dunn House two weeks ago with only the clothes on her back, a young child with special needs in tow. She talks, with hope, of finding a new place to live and a chance to move forward with her life. But a phone conversation with her husband a few minutes later changes all that. This week�s plan of picking up her youngest son, who is still living with her husband, might not happen after all. "He won�t let me have my son. He won�t let me go and get my things," Eileen says, voice shaking and tears streaking her face. "He says he�s got temporary custody of all of them." "Mamma�s crying. Mamma�s crying," Emalina pipes up, rushing to climb on top of her mother and press her small face up close. Tiny hands grope at Eileen�s pale face as Emalina kisses her mother, the child�s golden curls resting against Eileen�s dark brown hair. "We won�t be able to do anything until after Christmas," says Maria, a bilingual resource advocate staying at the shelter, shaking her head. Like the women she assists, Maria has chosen not to provide her last name, adding that she prefers to not subject herself to potential violence. Today, however, a court advocate may be able to help Eileen either obtain a restraining order against her husband or apply for temporary custody. Eileen�s struggles are just one of the obstacles Dunn House residents battle every day. More than just a shelter, Program Manager Barbara Usselman-Crofoot says, the program helps women move forward by using the community�s resources and providing counseling. Dunn House offers everything from job placement to assistance in court to finding adequate housing, Usselman-Crofoot adds. In the sprawling house with eight rooms, a staff of eight and more than 40 volunteers assist an estimated 600 women and children who come through the doors every year. "One of our goals here is to make it homey for the residents," Usselman-Crofoot says, pointing to the festive Christmas decorations. On the living room floor, 2-year-old Jordan can�t make up his mind. Does he like the choo-choo train with pop-up figures, or the truck? Clad in fuzzy blue one-piece pajamas, Jordan scoots across the floor atop a shiny plastic truck, narrowly missing furniture and toes. Estella, a 26-year-old Medford resident, watches her son tenderly, glowing with a promise of a more secure future. She calls this small boy with sleep-tousled hair her most cherished Christmas gift. Jordan, a blue-eyed charmer, is a gift she might not have had without help from the Medford police, Estella says. When Estella was forced to flee the home of her abuser last week, she did so without her son. The father of her child was abusing drugs and becoming increasingly violent every time he shot up, Estella adds. She had to take Jordan and get out � right away. "(Jordan) was ripped out of my arms," Estella recalls, crying a little at the memory. "I came here with nothing but his blanket and teddy bear." A few days later, several Medford officers accompanied Estella to a motel room where the father of her child was staying with Jordan, she says. A court advocate had been able to help her gain temporary custody to Jordan, Estella added. "They brought my baby out safely," she says. "I thought (Jordan�s) dad was going to run away with him. I was so scared. But they were able to bring me my baby back." Not all women staying at the shelter were able to spend Christmas with children or family. Nicole has been at Dunn House for about six weeks. She�s having trouble finding a place to live, although she has a job she likes and a car that sometimes works. Uprooting herself from Idaho recently, Nicole admits Christmas Eve was a little lonely. She doesn�t have custody of her two children, and that can be tough. Married to her abuser for six months, involved with him on and off for five years, Nicole says she is happy to be where she is on Christmas morning � at Dunn House. "Some of us are a little weepy-eyed, but that�s not because we�re depressed," she said. "The generosity has been overwhelming. There were so many gifts this year from people we don�t know, people we can�t say �thank you� to." Toys, clothes, kitchen items and many necessities were donated. It wasn�t just that people had bought stuff, she adds, it was the thought and care that went into the gifts. "It was like, how did they know this was my favorite color, or how did they know I would love to have something like this," she says. Perhaps the most unexpected � and touching � were 12 greeting cards that had been dropped off at the main office last week, Maria said. An anonymous "bunch of construction guys" slipped a large bill into each card. "I haven�t stopped crying all morning," Nicole says. "I�m going to keep that card forever." "This gives us hope that there are wonderful men out there who don�t beat women," Estella said. "There�s no way to say thank you for everything we�ve been given." On this Christmas morning, shelter residents with diverse backgrounds and different religious views celebrated together, baby-sitting a turkey roasting in the kitchen. Beverly came from Redding, Calif., and doesn�t know what the future holds for her. Patting her belly, she thinks of the baby who�s on the way and is just thankful that places like Dunn House exist. "The women here, they�re very kind. They give you a place to stay that�s safe," Beverly says, recalling the times she was forced to live on the streets. "Some of us have had a hard time of it. We need a place like this." Reach reporter Jill Briskey at 776-4485, or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2000 Mail Tribune, Inc.