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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Walden sets town halls on Friday 10 things to know for Tuesday Jackson County looks at compensation for wolf kills Southern Oregon Speedway race track lease veers off course Since You Asked: Medford casino meeting is open to all Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Emergency Services, Feb. 3 Woman sentenced for harboring Jackson County Jail escapee Downtown Grounds burglarized White City house fire displaces couple Emergency Services, Feb. 2 Politics and Elections Walden sets town halls on Friday Amid rising scrutiny, governor says fiancee won't have role in administration Ashland aims for diversity, but numbers show shortfall Kent Bush: The keys to decoding the State of the Union address Oregon Legislature convenes, session starts Feb. 12 Education SOU board names officers, committees SOU students targeted in Drive Less campaign Parent files discrimination complaint against Ashland schools Some gains, some losses Medford reconsiders full-day kindergarten Environment Jackson County looks at compensation for wolf kills Commissioners won't object to BLM road closures Mt. 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Hiking Biking Faith Religion briefs Religion briefs, Jan. 23 Religion briefs Old stained-glass windows face threats Milestones and Achievements 50 years and counting: Bulebar Wedding: Lindsey-Maria Rios New arrivals Columnist for a Day Rogue Healthy Aging Tempo Latest stories Camelot presents Playwright Richard Manley's 'A Question of Words' Here it is! Live Music in Local Clubs Terrapin Flyer plays Historic Ashland Armory Eric Johnson and Mike Stern at The Rogue Theatre Alcyon Massive and Frankie Hernandez play acoustic at Howiee's Theater Camelot presents Playwright Richard Manley's 'A Question of Words' Classics, premiers highlight '15 season for OSF Randall Theatre presents playwright Charles Ludlam's comedy "The Mystery of Irma Vep" Roy Orbison tribute hits high note Thanks for the Memories Theatre presents 'Cardenio' Music Here it is! Live Music in Local Clubs Jesse Cook plays the Craterian Theater Shybo Torres plays South Stage Cellars Terrapin Flyer plays Historic Ashland Armory Trio Valtorna plays SOU Music Hall Community Events Comedian Susan Westenhoefer pulls no punches Paula Poundstone performs at the Craterian Len Dickson's 'Fall Harvest' to grace Belle Fiore wine label A look at the life and vision of Martin Luther King Jr. Ty Barnett and Ian Harris are 'Divided' Dining Sandwiches and burgers are hits at The Rogue Chef The Vine offers a taste of Italy Cheeseburgers on the cheap Valley View — It's all in the family Patty Groth's Morning Glory is still a delight Tempo Videos Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » Obituaries Blogs TV Listings Movie Listings Oregon Outdoors Oregon Healthy Living Magazines & Special Sections NEWS NOW Jackson County looks at compensation for wolf kills ... Our View: No reason to hurry pot-tax vote ... Guest Opinion: Health professionals don't always act that way ... Jackson County looks at compensation for wolf kills ... Our View: No reason to hurry pot-tax vote ... Guest Opinion: Health professionals don't always act that way ... Get A Life: Let go of your baggage Comment MailTribune.com Writer Posted Nov. 10, 2014 @ 8:33 am Posted Nov. 10, 2014 @ 8:33 am » Social News By Loretta LaRoche More Content Now So many of us are caught up not only in trying to find out who made us stressed and miserable but also in storing and cataloging it for future use. I call this “baggage handling” because after a while, we have so much past misery that we need suitcases to put it in. We may need to hire someone to carry them if we have a whole set. My grandmother Francesca was so good at recalling history (mostly negative) that she could have been a curator for the Smithsonian. As a child, I would always ask her why she looked so unhappy. Her answer was always the same: “Because I suffer.” She’d go no further, but her face would become even sadder and her hands would go up in the air as she recited one of her many invocations for God to help her in her hour of need. There was always an aura of mystery around my grandmother’s suffering, as if it were so unspeakable that it could only be alluded to in veiled words. Every once in a while she would add a teaser: “My mother abandoned me!” This was all said in Italian, which adds such incredible drama. If she had said, “My bra is killing me” in Italian, it would have sounded like a death knell. I kept asking my mother to explain it to me, but she would slough it off with “It’s an old story, and you wouldn’t understand.” Years later one of my uncles gave me the whole scoop. It was indeed a good candidate for a made-for-TV movie. It seems Francesca’s father died when she was 11, and after a year her mother married a man 20 years her junior. This was virtually unheard of in Italy at the time. Because of the discrepancy in age and the fact that my grandmother was to embark young womanhood, her aunts deemed that if my grandmother lived with her mother and her young husband, it would not only bring disgrace to the family, but there was also the possibility that he might become infatuated with her. And so Francesca was sent to live with her aunts, who lived next door. Even after my grandmother married and moved to the United States, bringing her mother and her mother’s husband with her, she continued to treat her mother like the Black Plague. The abandonment issue became the centerpiece for her quilt of suffering. Many of us spend inordinate amounts of time on past injuries. It makes sense to use them as a way to identify what caused us pain, and hopefully to become more resilient as a result. But the most important lesson is to learn how to let go, live in the present, and to create a future filled with hope and joy. Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at www.stressed.com. 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