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It’s the really little things By Sharon Johnson Sep 04, 2022 12:30 AM A A I’ve found the smallest things make me happy. It’s the little moments that bring real joy. It’s that simple. At least, according to the magazine that’s helping me reimagine my life. (Real Simple, Special Edition, 2022). What launched my thinking about all this was the leadoff article in the above-referenced publication and comments offered by a Yale University cognitive scientist, Laurie Santos, PhD. She suggested “We get used to stuff, even great stuff.” Very quickly. The big events in our lives make us immediately joyful and excited. But that feeling does not last as long as one might expect. The purchase of a new home, a new car, even a lottery win ... are all moments of exhilaration, but the feelings attached to those grand experiences become diluted fairly rapidly. Something called “hedonistic adaption” sets in, and “the big stuff” loses its punch. “Hedonistic adaptation” refers to the fact that we quickly return to “relatively stable levels of contentment and happiness after major life events — either positive or negative.” It’s a good thing. I guess. Especially if, following a negative life event, you can expect a return to equilibrium. But the better recognition is this: It’s small things that bring the greater joy and make a more sustained, holistic difference. I am talking about really small things. As illustration, I took Lucy, my aging Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, for a very early morning walk today, encountering a magnificent sunrise. While Lucy sniffed and peed, I embraced the beauteous rising sun. I took a deep breath and just watched the day begin. It’s turning out to be a really good day — the early morning feeling of expectation and beauty set the stage. The Simple Living article suggests using small things to create great joy. As illustration, my 9-year-old grandson just got an iPhone. Acquiring it was preceded by endless discussions in my daughter’s household and the persuasive argument Jordan made that he would need a phone in his backpack at school “in case there was an incident, and the school went into lockdown.” That did it. His parents got him the phone and a backpack that has a bulletproof panel. (That’s definitely a column topic for another day.) The relevance to today’s column is this: Now that my youngest grandson has a phone, he texts me, “How’s your day going, Nana?” And he responds when I acknowledge something he did with, “Aww ... Thank you, Nana!” There might even be an emoji heart. Moments of brief, positive communication, and I become a happier person. I am similarly buoyed when I receive an unexpected text or email from a friend or acquaintance. Studies show, in fact, that the senders of simple messages that seek to connect do not realize how much the message is appreciated by the recipient. Studies indicate it’s linked to “increased purposefulness” in older adults (American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry). A brief written outreach, a quick telephone chat — it seems like a small thing, but to me it’s really big. To those readers of this column who have done that for me in the recent past, may I just say, “Aww ... Thank you.” Sharon Johnson is a retired educator. Reach her at [email protected]