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First, help needy; then take care of family Mail Tribune / Jim Craven Sharon Schreiber of CERVS says her work load doubles during the holidays as the social service agency strives to help needy families provide toys for their children. She�s one of hundreds of Jackson County social workers, case managers and volunteers whose own families get put on hold while they help those less fortunate. Social workers often find other people�s Christmas comes before their own By Jonel Aleccia At 7 p.m. last Dec. 24, Sharon Schreiber was still at work, bagging up toys, parceling out presents, creating Christmas for folks who�d otherwise have none. But back at her own home, the holiday had to wait, says the executive director of the CERVS social service agency in Medford. "I tend to put my family and my grandkids on hold," explains Schreiber, 56, who last year provided toys to 900 families. "As long as there are people here who need something, you can�t just walk away." Schreiber�s view is echoed by several of the hundreds of Jackson County case managers, social workers and volunteers whose jobs include providing comfort and joy during the holiday season. The tough part, say the workers who help fill food baskets, find toys and come up with cash, is balancing the needs of the needy with their own desires during the holiday season. For Diana Escobedo, a 44-year-old worker with the Jackson County Victims Services program, fulfilling the requirements of 58 families, including 147 children, leaves little energy for her family at home. Since the start of December, she has been inundated with tragic stories of families displaced by everything from work accidents and house fires to bad luck. She has spent long days resolving dilemmas made worse because of holiday expectations. "You have families who are barely making it as it is, and along comes Christmas," she says. "They feel inadequate, and they break down." It�s Escobedo�s job to fix them up again, often at the expense of her own kin. "I was going to take Friday off because I have our own shopping to do," she explains. "But I�m expecting a new shipment of toys and somebody has to check my answering machine ..." Most social workers know that extra stress is part of the holidays, says Schreiber, who figures her work load doubles in December. They�ve come to expect long hours, crowds of clients and the frustration that comes with facing too much need and too few resources. "There are always parents who wait until the last minute and say �I didn�t do anything for my kids,� " she says. "The frustration is, it�s not like they didn�t know Christmas comes this time of year." For some workers, especially those new to the field, the experience can be overwhelming. On Monday, a week before Christmas, a new CERVS volunteer hit the wall � literally, Schreiber says. "He is a lovely man and he just lost it. He got up, turned around and walked out and hit the door," she says. "He was just so frustrated because it seems that it is so difficult to do good." Experienced workers have learned to cope with that frustration in many ways. John van Cleef, new head of the Jackson County Salvation Army, says the keys include delegating duties and cultivating a certain equanimity. "I pray a lot," says van Cleef, 31, latest of a long line of Salvationists. "I don�t feel guilty about taking a few moments of quiet and silence. I go to lunch with my wife." Plus, van Cleef says, he knows when to stop. Food and toy distributions will end Thursday at his agency. And after a 6 p.m. service on Christmas Eve, he�ll be home with his kids. "Like with anything, there has to be a deadline at some point," van Cleef says. "It doesn�t mean we�ll turn anybody away, but there is an end." Setting firm boundaries is difficult but vital, says Escobedo, who vows her Christmas Eve dinner will not come from the deli this year. "I�m going to cook. I�m going to dust off the recipes and do it," says the mother of a 20-year-old son. "You have to devote some energy to your own family, otherwise your family becomes as dysfunctional as the people you�re trying to help." Reach reporter JoNel Aleccia at 776-4465, or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2000 Mail Tribune, Inc.