Document text
Columnist for a Day: Advice to pregnant women not always helpful Sunday Feb 5, 2017 at 12:01 AM By Cheryl Gara for the Mail Tribune Oh, the things people say to pregnant women. “You think you have it all figured out — just you wait.” “You've never done this before — you're going to need help.” “You think you'll be on a schedule? Ha! That's cute.” I'll have to admit, my confidence was shaken slightly at times. After so much negative “advice,” I was starting to think they may be right. After all, I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to install the baby carrier despite having a doctoral degree. And how do you latch a baby who has both hands in his mouth while supporting his body, head and your boob? Did my husband and I get too cocky? Surely we could at least keep him alive. We took a million baby classes and read all the books. I had even stashed away approximately 971 freezer meals. And besides, we aren't total idiots. Truth is, we didn't have it all figured out. I don't think any first-time parents can know exactly what to expect, but we had prepared ourselves well and knew this would be one of the hardest things we'd ever do. Also, I did need help. My sweet husband took a month off work so we could share the baby tasks, chores and errands. Guess what? We're doing fantastic — I don't even have piles of dirty laundry like I was told I would. Are we on a strict schedule down to the minute? No. In fact, the other day our baby's diaper was too loose and he peed all over my husband. This necessitated a bath in the evening rather than the morning (and elicited a few giggles). The baby continued to sleep great that night, and I was still able to shower in the morning. We were doing pretty darn well, and I was beginning to feel glad I didn't read too much into all those “helpful” comments. Right when I thought I was in the clear, more “advice” began pouring in. “Your baby eats for 45 minutes at a time? Are you sure he's getting enough?” “Why would you wake your baby up several times a night to eat?” “Do you really think he's ready to be sleeping in his own room?” I've noticed some moms are eager to compare notes so they can assure themselves their experience is normal. This is a perfectly good way to go completely crazy. At least now I feel confident enough to take it all with a grain of salt. After all, every baby and new mom's experience is different (and that's OK). — Cheryl Gara lives in McMinnville.