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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Home News Latest Stories Sheriff's deputies arrest two after pursuit on Table Rock Road Judge dismisses four of Ron Kramer's claims against SOU OSF's 'Great Society' up for Kennedy Prize OSF taking applications for Green Show Lane closure on Medford's East Main starts Monday Crime, Courts and Emergency Services Sheriff's deputies arrest two after pursuit on Table Rock Road Laser strike on jet entering Medford delays flight Emergency services VIDEO: Wrap Up, week of Jan. 2 Man on parole for robbery arrested after crashing stolen truck Politics and Elections Councilman stirs online dust-up with anti-marijuana post State certifies recount showing failure of GMO-labeling measure Time running out for O&C funds GMO vote recount still shows little change Education Ashland schools to implement chickenpox precautions Traveling artist sets the stage for Ruch School amphitheater Ruch school class focuses on the natural environment Bethel Church helps families at McLoughlin Middle School Logos may offer students 'fifth year' at RCC or SOU Environment Monument expansion expected to increase tourism, protect resources Biologist resigns over LNG reporting failure Bird flu discovered in Winston backyard flock Jackson County holds back on enforcing GMO ban for now No fish, no funding for problem dams State News Oregon fans get married Rose Bowl parking lot Earthquake off coast shakes Humboldt County Stranded sea turtle recovers at Oregon aquarium Oregon minimum wage rises to $9.25 Storm brings snow, cold to West Nation - World Obama makes Maduro’s ‘insolent Yankees’ line harder to sell Obituaries Dianne Sarvis Marri Young-Wellbaum Severta Shipley Death Notices Jeannine Gardiner Weather Photo Galleries Since You Asked Videos Web Cams Mail Tribune 100 Shareable In memoriam: 2014’s notable deaths Looking back: Do you remember 2014’s biggest stories? 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Laser strike on jet entering Medford delays flight ... Ashland schools to implement chickenpox precautions ... Sheriff's deputies arrest two after pursuit on Table Rock Road ... Laser strike on jet entering Medford delays flight ... Ashland schools to implement chickenpox precautions ... Jeff Vrabel: A bustling day at the funeral home Comment By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 29, 2014 @ 8:40 am By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 29, 2014 @ 8:40 am » Social News Funeral homes are weird, and death makes you see things in weird new ways. The director at the home for my mom’s funeral a few weeks ago asked us to select prayer cards, but most of them were more religious than she was. She was more attuned to another guy born on Dec. 25, Jimmy Buffett, so we sat in the funeral home looking up Buffett lyrics and sobbing like goofy fools. If you’ve never seen people lose it because they’re looking up lyrics to song by a guy famous for a cheeseburger song, I can assure you, it’s a weird afternoon. For a moment, we considered wearing Hawaiian T-shirts to the funeral. I’m pretty sure she’d have liked that. There aren’t a lot of ways you can make yourself laugh at funerals, but you try, because you tell yourself that’s what the deceased would have wanted, right? That’s what we thought, anyway. Mom wouldn’t have wanted a somber day filled with cathedral music and Kleenex; she’d be better served by a tropical theme and a bunch of pictures and music. So that’s what we did, mostly. A couple of times, someone would ask to turn the songs up, which is a strange thing to hear at a visitation. I hope the other families in the building didn’t mind, their trying to hold a traditional service while some weirdos in Chapel C listened to something called “Tryin’ to Reason with Hurricane Season.” Anyway, because my job is to write humor, and because mom was actually my biggest fan, provider of Facebook comments and bragger to people who I’m sure got really, really tired of hearing about it, I have a funny story from her funeral. By way of having a conversation piece, and also so I had something to do for the few nights before the funeral, I made a slideshow, a shuffling series of 300 or so pictures that would play on a TV in the room where we were holding the visitation. I burned it to DVD, but when I tested it at my dad’s house, it didn’t work. I’m not terribly well-versed in editing video, so I figured I should stop at the funeral home to test it out, make sure that it would play the following day, when none of us would be in the mood to fiddle with audiovisual peripherals, probably. The woman at the home was extremely nice and accommodating, especially as it was a busy day and they were having an unusually high number of services that afternoon. And I’m glad I stopped, because the first try didn’t work. The DVD didn’t play. No worries, I thought, I have some time and a few backup plans in mind. So I ran to Best Buy, bought some converter cables, and returned to the funeral home to try for round two. This time, the home was busier, bustling almost — it’s weird to be in a funeral home you could describe as “bustling.” But this time, when I asked to test the cord the lady said, “Sure, you can go in, but, um, there may be a body in there. Does that bother you?” Two things happened here: My brain, being a logical brain, thought, “OF COURSE IT BOTHERS ME, IT’S A BODY,” and did all sorts of Haunted Mansion flashbacks from when I was about 4. The other part of it, though, realized there wasn’t much choice in the matter. Short version: I ended up fiddling with HDMI cables and testing Mom's slideshow in a chapel about 10 feet away from some other gentleman in a casket. The good news is it worked. My respects to the family of Boris. I hope Mom thought it was funny. If she did, she’d have left one of those smiley-face emojis on Facebook. I’m gonna miss those, Mom. Jeff Vrabel will be taking a brief hiatus from this column — if you can call a break from writing jokes once a week a “hiatus,” I mean it’s not brain surgery, people — but encourages you to stop by jeffvrabel.com and/or facebook.com/jeffvrabelwrites, if you’d care to stay in touch. By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now MailTribune.com By Jeff Vrabel More Content Now Posted Dec. 29, 2014 @ 8:40 am » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. calendar Connect with MailTribune.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services Home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Announcements Obituaries Story ideas Since you asked Alerts Email Alerts RSS Feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. 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