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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? e-edition | subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Ashland tests synthetic grass to save water ... From walking sticks to shovels ... U.S. Government wants to garnish wages of former Portland eco-saboteur ... Ashland tests synthetic grass to save water ... From walking sticks to shovels ... U.S. Government wants to garnish wages of former Portland eco-saboteur ... Michelle Teheux: The best gift isn't what you think Comment MailTribune.com Writer Posted Dec. 10, 2014 at 12:48 PM Posted Dec. 10, 2014 at 12:48 PM » Social News By Michelle Teheux More Content Now I guess I’m going to have to do some Christmas shopping sometime soon, an activity I enjoy approximately as much as I love scrubbing baked-on food from casserole dishes after a big holiday dinner. Spoiler alert: If you expect to get a gift from me, stop reading now or prepare to be unsurprised. If you dislike the annual ritual of spending money you don’t have to buy things people don’t need, read on for semi-helpful advice: The first thing you need to do is realize that your shopping stress will vary greatly depending on which of the following categories best describe your family and friends. 1. Little kids, who will love absolutely anything you wrap up for them, be it a 99-cent piece of plastic crap you randomly grabbed at the grocery store or an expensive custom wooden toy a craftsman carved from reclaimed endangered wood. No advice is needed here. Everyone on your list should be so easy to shop for. 2. Older kids, who want nothing but very expensive electronic stuff so specialized that you need to have it written down so you can just hand the piece of paper to the salesperson at the specific store the kid directed you to. You may have no idea what a Razer BlackWidow Chroma RGB USB gaming keyboard is, but you don’t need to know what it is, you just need to buy it. My advice: Have the kid email you the link, and just hold your nose and buy the thing online, whatever it is. 3. Young adults who are in or are about to be in their own places soon. Jackpot. You can’t go wrong. They need kitchen stuff, tools, linens, you name it. The next several Christmases they will be a piece of cake to buy for. Until they reach the next stage, which is: 4. People who don’t need a single dadgummed thing. My dad is a prime example. If he wanted something, he’d have bought it 20 years ago. He has plenty of hobbies, like hunting and fishing, but he already has every gun, lure, knife, bow, boat and every other outdoorsy thingamajig ever invented. What will my dad get for Christmas this year? Not sure, but it will definitely be something he doesn’t need. 5. Everybody else: You know how sometimes a friend drops by and has a present for you and you didn’t exactly buy that person anything? Tis the time of year to keep a number of bottles of wine or Irish cream or whatever stashed in a handy spot, with festive bows stuck on top. Whip out a bottle as needed. If you don’t need to break into the gift liquor, all the better. You’ve got something to drink in January. 6. Everybody else, non-drinkers edition: books. Buy a bunch of books that have near-universal appeal. Maybe some of the classics, which are available very nicely bound. If there’s anybody on your list who doesn’t read, well, that is exactly the sort of person who needs a book. Maybe you know darned well that some of the people on your list won’t ever crack open a book, but at least they will have some good-looking editions to display somewhere, giving their guests the impression that they’re well-educated, thoughtful readers. It will save them from being judged by people like me who visit their homes. Yes, sorry, I am judging you when I see you don’t have any books in your house. It’s OK. You can judge me back for the sloppy way I have books crammed everywhere. I hope you have more people in the first category than in the fourth one — or that you can all agree to spend time together without the obligatory gift exchange. Ideally, we’d buy children lots of presents and the rest of us would agree to have something like a wine and book exchange — or nothing at all — because the gift of less time spent shopping would be the best gift of all. Michelle Teheux may be reached at [email protected]. Follow her at Twitter.com/michelleteheux. MailTribune.com Writer Posted Dec. 10, 2014 at 12:48 PM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. 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