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--> --> May 2: `Dearly beloved ...' in this modern era By Patty Perrin The wedding announcements in the newspaper remind me of how much the world has changed during my lifetime. There are among the weekly pickings a few old-time marriages, with the bride in a white gown and the groom a tux or dark suit. The ceremony takes place in a church and the bride wears Grandma's necklace or carries an heirloom handkerchief. And the receptions are held in traditional places, church halls, gardens or country clubs. But as I read through the story, changes come into view. The bride and groom have too many parents. Four, maybe more, each. To me that's an overabundance of in-laws. Not to mention the problem of seating arrangements for the rehearsal dinner. Even honeymoons are more complicated then they used to be. The newlyweds go to distant places. Belize, Australia, Tahiti. Perhaps there is something about honeymoons being more exciting so far away. I wouldn't know. Fifty-five years ago when I got married, we went 70 miles to the beach. It was far enough and, let me assure you, it was exciting. As I read on, I am reminded that one of the major differences between my generation and the current one is the timing of the arrival of children. In my day if children came before marriage, the wedding would be small and the children seldom mentioned. Nowadays, they take part in the ceremony. One announcement pointed out, "Their daughter, age 4, was the flower girl." And another, "The bride carried six lilies, one for each of their children." Few of my age group had careers. Now most of the brides do, although their job titles are different. No longer shoe clerk, secretary, sales lady, waitress, janitor. Everyone sounds upgraded. Executive assistant, customer service representative, food server, maintenance engineer. And it's obvious that women have expanded into new fields. One of the recent weddings was between two semi truck drivers. When I read about that couple I wondered where they met. Was it over a flat tire or at a truck stop or while putting on chains at a mountain pass? I can always spot the couple who gets married on horseback by their cowboy hats. But the reports are never complete. They never tell me if the minister is also on a horse, or what happens if a horse bolts? And what is the etiquette if the horse does "it" right there in the middle of the ceremony? And couples are getting married everywhere these days. One of my friend's kids said her vows on a bare hilltop by the ocean, another up a path "by the second curve" of a mountain road. The invitations read oddly and each wedding locale was hard to find. But the biggest problem I had was trying to figure out whether to wear high heels or hiking boots. The most confusing recent listing caught me by surprise. It looked so normal. Names, church, family, etc. but then: "The couple dated for six years and shared their first kiss at the altar." I read this one four times. And I still don't believe it. What kind of foolishness is this, and why are they telling me? Why would anyone date for six years? Was one of them out of the country, or in prison? And what's with this no kissing? Didn't they know that kissing was the main purpose of dating? I remember kissing until our lips were sore. Of course, we couldn't do anything else. But the recent winner was a report of a ceremony that I was sorry I hadn't been invited to. This pair was married in a rain forest in South America. When I read about it, my imagination went wild. I immediately could see green, creepy vines and sluggish brown rivers. I heard drums before I realized I was a little lost and my mind had strayed into Africa. But what a wedding. I knew that for me it was the strangest of the year even before I read, "The mother of the bride parachuted in to the ceremony." I breathlessly read on, hoping to find out whether an usher accompanied her and what she wore for a mother of the bride dress? The story didn't tell me, but did confirm once again what I already knew: It's a different world out there. Patty Perrin lives in Ashland and writes a monthly column for the Daily Tidings Email your... Technical questions & comments to: WebMaster Daily Tidings editorial comments & questions to: Editor Visit our other Oregon Newspapers... | Albany Democrat-Herald | Ashland Daily Tidings | Corvallis Gazette-Times | | Lebanon Express | Newport News-Times | Springfield News | Cottage Grove Sentinel | Ashland Daily Tidings 1661 Siskiyou Blvd. Ashland, OR 97520 Telephone 541-482-3456 © Copyright 2001 Lee Northwest Publishing