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0 of 3 Premium Clicks used this month SUBSCRIBE Print + Online Subscriber Activation | Register x Forgot Password | Need an Account? subscribe | newsletter | deals Classifieds Jobs Autos Real Estate FEATURED » NEWS NOW Red flag warning in effect until late tonight ... Rogue Valley programs persevere in extreme heat ... Chris Honoré: Sept. 15, 1963 – Birmingham, Alabama ... Red flag warning in effect until late tonight ... Rogue Valley programs persevere in extreme heat ... Chris Honoré: Sept. 15, 1963 – Birmingham, Alabama ... Get A Life: Let go of your baggage Comment DailyTidings.com Writer Posted Nov. 10, 2014 at 8:32 AM Posted Nov. 10, 2014 at 8:32 AM » Social News By Loretta LaRoche More Content Now So many of us are caught up not only in trying to find out who made us stressed and miserable but also in storing and cataloging it for future use. I call this “baggage handling” because after a while, we have so much past misery that we need suitcases to put it in. We may need to hire someone to carry them if we have a whole set. My grandmother Francesca was so good at recalling history (mostly negative) that she could have been a curator for the Smithsonian. As a child, I would always ask her why she looked so unhappy. Her answer was always the same: “Because I suffer.” She’d go no further, but her face would become even sadder and her hands would go up in the air as she recited one of her many invocations for God to help her in her hour of need. There was always an aura of mystery around my grandmother’s suffering, as if it were so unspeakable that it could only be alluded to in veiled words. Every once in a while she would add a teaser: “My mother abandoned me!” This was all said in Italian, which adds such incredible drama. If she had said, “My bra is killing me” in Italian, it would have sounded like a death knell. I kept asking my mother to explain it to me, but she would slough it off with “It’s an old story, and you wouldn’t understand.” Years later one of my uncles gave me the whole scoop. It was indeed a good candidate for a made-for-TV movie. It seems Francesca’s father died when she was 11, and after a year her mother married a man 20 years her junior. This was virtually unheard of in Italy at the time. Because of the discrepancy in age and the fact that my grandmother was to embark young womanhood, her aunts deemed that if my grandmother lived with her mother and her young husband, it would not only bring disgrace to the family, but there was also the possibility that he might become infatuated with her. And so Francesca was sent to live with her aunts, who lived next door. Even after my grandmother married and moved to the United States, bringing her mother and her mother’s husband with her, she continued to treat her mother like the Black Plague. The abandonment issue became the centerpiece for her quilt of suffering. Many of us spend inordinate amounts of time on past injuries. It makes sense to use them as a way to identify what caused us pain, and hopefully to become more resilient as a result. But the most important lesson is to learn how to let go, live in the present, and to create a future filled with hope and joy. Author, humorist, PBS star and Fortune 500 trainer Loretta LaRoche lives in Plymouth, Massachusetts. To share your pet peeves, questions or comments, write to The Humor Potential, 50 Court St., Plymouth, MA 02360. Visit her website at www.stressed.com. DailyTidings.com Writer Posted Nov. 10, 2014 at 8:32 AM » Comment or view comments Reader Reaction » STAY INFORMED Email NewsLetter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Southern Oregon Directory Featured Businesses Loading... Business Name address Location, ST | website.com Find Southern Oregon Attractions Bars Restaurants Beauty Salons Entertainment Doctors Medical Specialists Contractors Education Lawn Services Lawyers Shopping Travel Tanning Used Cars Wedding Services ▼ Add your business here + Events Calendar Connect with DailyTidings.com Facebook Twitter RSS Back to top Reader Services Reader Services home Subscriptions Subscriber controls Contact us Submissions Photos Events Letters to the editor Corrections Alerts Email alerts RSS feeds Text Alerts Advertise Media Kit Home Products and services Ad rates Advertising contacts Propel Marketing Mail Tribune Daily Tidings The Nickel Shop Our Valley Blogs Mobile Site Stay Informed Email newsletter Sign Up Today Sign up for our newsletter and have the top headlines from your community delivered right to your inbox. Your privacy is important, read our privacy policy. © Copyright 2015 Local Media Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Local Media Group Publications Original content available for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons license, except where noted. DailyTidings.com | P.O. Box 1108, Medford, OR 97501