Document text
- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us June 13, 2006 From the RIGHT side MIKE GREEN Sex It needs no introduction. Just mentioning the words, sex, sexy, and sexual is stimulus enough to create the desired result … arousal. Arousal of your curiosity, that is. Without question, sex is one of the most defining characteristics within our lives, as well as the lives of our children. Spanning the spectrum from glorious heights of ecstasy, wondrous and mind-blowing, to unfathomable depths of despicable degradation, sex for each of us becomes a defining decision in our lives. And the choices we make regarding sex — when to engage in it, with whom, how, where, and under what circumstances — often prove to be choices that have life-long ramifications. Those decisions are all too often made at very naïve and gullible stages in life. For many of America’s youth — here in Ashland and elsewhere around the country — decisions regarding sexual lifestyle and boundaries will be made before they receive a high school diploma. And that’s why it troubles me to see teenagers toying with sex, prompted and pushed along by adults. Such is the case each year when parents, educators and leaders within the community condone the hormone-induced activities inherent in every graduation party typically referred to as “prom.” Prom night is merely an over-the-top attempt to create a pretentious “magical memorable” evening that serves as a congratulatory celebration for high school seniors. Yet, the trappings of such events are anything but innocent and naïve. Beginning with the revealing sensual dresses that every girl “must have,” to the obligatory crowning of a “couple” as the king and queen, the prom is simply at its best a fantasy fairy tale of princes and princesses. And at its worst the catalyst for a night of raucous, raunchy debauchery that offers every other kind of fantasy that fills the heads of young sex-seeking boys and gullible, or perhaps equally sex-crazed, young girls. Every prom attendee knows that the prom is merely a warm-up for the rest of the night’s activities. And if one prom wasn’t enough to provide the atmosphere and sensual environment to accommodate every enterprising attendee, students who define their sexual orientations in terms other than heterosexual, felt inclined this past weekend in Ashland to let it all hang out at the “Brokeback Prom,” as it was dubbed in reflection of the Hollywood movie by the same name. But certainly the prom isn’t where students are introduced into the world of sex. Children today grow up watching real life teenage and adult fashions, where sensual lingerie is worn as an exterior garment and it is considered fashionable to wear shortened tops that expose one’s waistline, and lowered pants and skirts that offer provocative views of young women’s and girls’ panties when they sit or bend over — and the crevice of a female’s bare derriere if g-strings panties become too cumbersome. Television exposes children to the world of teenage “relationships.” Virtually every program directed at teens and adolescents is replete with plots and sub-plots that involve sexual activities of varying degrees. The music industry immerses its fans of every age into a cesspool of philosophies created and performed by talented idiots who croon into the ears of innocent children implied and sexually explicit words and phrases those kids learn to recite without thinking. From any angle of perception, it is plain to see that America’s adults promote sex to America’s youth in copious quantities. So what’s wrong with sex? Nothing. … and everything. It is apparent sex was meant to be enjoyed … as it is a natural instinct of human beings. But, like everything in life, when abused, misused and engaged in out of its designed context, sex quickly moves from its intended purpose of pleasure, bonding and blessing, to an act that leaves guilt, disappointment, and emptiness. At its best, sex is an essential part of a healthy life-long committed marital relationship … heightening the pleasures of bonding two loving hearts and souls with squeals of delight at the promise of creating new life. At its worst, sex becomes a lonely desperate search for fulfillment and love, while offering searchers broken promises, broken hearts, broken bodies racked with disease, and guilt-ridden burdens of unwanted children who often repeat the same cycle. Such a miserable tune can even lead to a dance with death. Children do not have the knowledge and understanding to ask poignant and relevant questions regarding their natural sexual instincts. And unfortunately, far too many adults have also failed to cogitate over the essential questions that every child will eventually stumble across, thus leaving children to figure things out on their own, or perhaps become influenced by their peers or some seemingly benevolent secular or atheistic-leaning community program or club that seeks to sway lost youth toward their opinion and perspective. In all aspects of our society — politics, religion, business, education, entertainment, social and civic institutions — no matter the direction one looks, the subject of sex is just beneath the surface. Since everyone agrees that sex is important, then surely there must be some understanding regarding who the governing authority is over sexual matters. It may sound like therapy to think that there is some high authority that determines how, when and the circumstances under which we engage in sex. But truly, there is. That authority isn’t the same for all of us. For some, the ultimate authority regarding when we have sex, with whom, and the parameters of such activity is simply self-directed. In other words, the individual determines for him or herself what paths to pursue, what actions to take, how far to go and when to fully engage in intercourse. These individuals rely upon their own wisdom — or ignorance — to guide them through uncharted waters where a graveyard of shipwrecks awaits them. For some, the governing authority over the decisions they make is God. Whether that God is Christian, Jewish or Islamic, the boundaries remain the same — sex outside of marriage is forbidden. Within these religions different cultures approach the development of sexual knowledge and understanding for children in a variety of ways. In America, that variety is as vast and varied as the numbers of families residing here. Nevertheless, many families choose to adopt the boundaries set forth by God, as espoused by the religious faith of the family … and individual. Such boundaries seem hardly practical in a society where adults promote sex to children from the public schools to the film, fashion and music industries. But religious faith isn’t dependent upon societal acceptance or trends. Written words, believed to have been inspired by the God of Abraham, have sustained generations of peoples over several thousands of years without change in those words … even as the world has changed continually. But aside from the guidelines set forth by ourselves or God, both government and society also seek to tell us how to engage in sex, the appropriate age of engagement, and the circumstances surrounding such activity. Government and society have maintained a battle over the guidelines regarding sex in America for centuries. And because of this ongoing battle, this nation has moved from puritanical restrictions upon “legal” sexual behavior to an allowance of sexual relations between unmarried teens and adults, of both hetero- and homosexual orientations. And most recently, marriage between same-sex couples has become the issue over which a war between government and society currently rages. Today, we see evidence of several competing authorities in the sex lives of individuals. Aside from being self-directed or following moral laws of God, individuals now seek the permission of government and society in forming decisions related to sex. Government plays a key role in providing permission to marry to any couple, including those of religious faith. The evolution from seeking family to seeking societal to seeking government permission and support of sexual lifestyles has occurred just over the past century. And despite the fact that people married long before governments, or even churches, became involved in the process, today in America, the ultimate authority on who can and cannot get married is presumed to be government. Even many churches and synagogues have surrendered authority over marriage to government. Government issues licenses and determines the boundaries that must be met in order for a couple to marry. Naturally, those boundaries have changed as society has changed. The United States’ age of consent laws still govern the legal decisions teenage girls may make regarding their sexual activities. But the 16-year-old who can legally engage in sexual relations today (age 18 in Oregon) could have done so at age 14 just a few decades ago. The government doesn’t care if teens are married or not, only that they meet the arbitrarily created minimum age requirements to engage in sex. Such requirements ignore the fact that children who are legally allowed to make sexual decisions that will have enormous reverberations throughout every aspect of their lives and those around them are often ignorant of the necessity for sexual behavior to remain within a set of boundaries … and the dire consequences inherent in such activities if indulged in haphazardly and outside of a life-long committed relationship. Unfortunately, among today’s youth, a life-long commitment is often considered to be old-fashioned and an out-dated philosophy that has no basis in the real world decision-making process. Many adults, who placate to the sexual desires of youth and often prey upon their naiveté, promote the notion that engaging in sex outside of marriage is unavoidable and the bible offers no remedy or practical pathway for enjoying a life of sex outside of God’s boundaries. Therefore, religious ideologies forbidding sexual involvements outside of marriage fall into the realm of kooky and surreal. So who then governs sexual behavior today? Oneself? God? Government? Society? Clearly no one. God is out . Such lofty standards — however beneficial for individuals, families and generations of children — are thought to be unattainable and therefore ought not be the method adopted overall by America’s youth. Additionally, in American society today, moral laws are apparently no longer determined by God, but, rather by individuals; each according to his own determination. Government is out . Its ever-changing nonsensical set of irrational laws and limits are inequitable, economic- and power-based, having no setting in a concrete foundation. Its enforcement is also irresponsible and discriminatory. Society is out . Despite the fact that a large majority of Americans purport to be Christians, society at large doesn’t subscribe to Christian morals, values or principles in practice. Even Christian parents are prone to promote sexual liaisons between teens through the guiltless “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationships that lead directly to intimate interludes. Thus, America’s youth are virtually walked down a path of exploration of their sexuality by parents, Hollywood, the music and fashion industries, and peers. The search for direction, boundaries, and guidance seems futile, because in every direction there is a sense that once the legal age of consent is reached (and even prior to), all options are open and available … at the discretion of the individual child/teen. This only leaves America’s youth in a state of confusion, as those entrusted to guide them have abdicated their positions and abandoned their leadership roles. Rather, many parents choose to play the “support” role while the child is left to wander through a maze of influences, each with its own attraction that pulls them farther from the conservative path provided by religious faith. Many of these seemingly benevolent paths have unknown pitfalls into which teens and young adults often trip and become trapped, sustaining injuries from circumstances that sharply and unexpectedly impale young people with problems and serious consequences for which they are unprepared to handle. Self-direction is out . Clearly we are witnesses to the degradation of American society. It is not possible for America’s youth to make “informed decisions” when the information they are receiving is primarily propaganda that seeks to persuade them to experiment sexually while ignoring the question of what is right and wrong. Too many teenagers are ill-equipped to understand the far-reaching consequences of each decision they make to engage in sexual activity outside of the boundaries of marriage. Confusion begets confusion. A confused teen ought not be his or her own guide. And to whom might America’s youth turn to answer the enormous questions inherent in the natural processes of sexual interaction? It is evident America’s teens do not harbor the answers somewhere deep within themselves, to be discovered during trips to Europe and various other faraway places. If America’s children could raise themselves and answer the difficult questions of life along the way, surely parenting would be a party. However, the reverse is true. Teens need external guidance and solid testable answers to hard questions that center on life’s meaning and the numerous interfaces of it they meet with daily … including sex. And there are those basic questions that no teen can answer for him or herself, but yet must be defined from a source that does not change, does not whither away, and does not die. Where is the moral authority? Why is a moral authority necessary? Who is the preeminent guide? What is the correct path down which the mental, physical and emotional risks inherent in rampant promiscuity or serial monogamous relations could be avoided? What is the purpose of life, sex and relationships between people? The important life-changing answers to these and many other questions are not provided in a night of sexual stimulation in a raucous environment heightened by peer pressures, alcohol, drugs and internal desires. Schools ought not be in the business of sanctioning and hosting social parties that are conducive to the “coupling” of children and teens. The schools have a difficult enough job of academic preparation. Social forays that trample over ethics and moral questions in haste to reward students should be stricken from the school calendars. Instead, educators would better serve students by hosting parent-educator conferences where a community of concerned adults can address the all-too-evident sexual evolution that takes place in the halls of the school, its classrooms, locker rooms, rest rooms and at times … beneath its stadium bleachers. Unfortunately, it seems such discussions among intelligent, free-thinking adults doesn’t rank as high on the priority list as fundraising and preparations for the next prom that promises to welcome yet another crop of lost children into the carnivorous predatory world of “adults” … at the tender age of 18. To respond to this column send email to [email protected] . Only those responses containing the writer's name, city and phone number (for verification purposes only) will appear on our site. Mike Green is an award-winning columnist and author of, " The WHOLE truth about the U.S. War on Terror: answers to every question you never knew to ask ." ( www.thetruthaboutterror.com ) From the RIGHT Side is a web-only column published by the Daily Tidings. Letters to the Editor and Guest Forums should be e-mailed in text-only format to [email protected]. Please include your address and a daytime phone number where you can be reached for confirmation. Submissions cannot have run in any other publication. Letters are limited to 250 words, Guest Forums are limited to 600 words, and may be edited for length, content and clarity. DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Ceramic Piggy Banks Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Backpacks Mailing Lists Custom Made Computers Vegas Travel Guide Search Engine Optimization Student Loans Hammocks Water Filter Helzberg Diamonds Online Casinos Community Bonus Casino Mortgage Calculator Security Systems Click Here Advertisement .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams