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FRIDAY January 30, 2004 - Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels December 13, 2003 The barking lighthouse By Lance K.Pugh It was early evening, which, during the winter, occurs somewhat after lunch. My wife, Annette, sought a brief respite from the pressures of the day in a time honored fashion, spending a few minutes sitting outside, there to make sense of the last 50 phone calls. At her side sat Spooky, our 5-year-old Lab/cocker Halloween gift, a dog of immense intellectual gifts. As her cell phone yet again beckoned, Spooky, black in coat and Houdini-like in stealth, slinked under the fence and blended into the howl of a windswept dark night, there to skulk, sniff, leg-lift and lollygag, refusing to emerge, preferring to slip under the surface of things visible. Alerted to the jailbreak, I grabbed a multimillion-candlepower flashlight and headed toward the alley, Spooky's favorite hangout. Amidst the din of the wind I attempted to whistle, but the sound hit the ground only a few feet away, refusing to carry even a meter more. After two hours on the prowl, I returned unrewarded to my porch, there to sit and lament about the loss of my precious pooch. With hope almost over the horizon and visions of my erstwhile favorite pet being cast in a remake of the "Hounds of the Baskervilles," I retreated, crestfallen, back into the house. Moments later I heard a woeful howl and threw open the door to witness a pair of dancing dog-eyes outside the fence. Welcomed home, I escorted the fugitive inside, vowing that Homeland Security would be escalated. Being a technological autodidact, I conjured a solution that involved the Internet, global positioning systems, voice recognition and air/sea rescue beacons. By late the next day I sat transfixed upon my modern marvel: a dog-tracking collar visible from any computer monitor or visually from over a mile in the dark. The night was again turning into another meteorological monster as I let Spooky free in the fenced yard, now sporting the equivalent of a radio ankle collar. I left the gate open, this to test both the dog and the system and headed back into the house to monitor the monitor. In a flash, he was gone. Well, the dog scooted quicker than a peeled grape through a myna bird, leaving me with no recourse save to activate my dog detector. Seconds later a detailed map appeared on the screen, with the beacon's location clearly indicated. Notice that I didn't mention the location of the dog. Unknown to me, my wife had driven by the house and, seeing that the dog was bouncing madly outside the fence, put him in the car for the balance of her errands. Basking in the marvel of my inventiveness, I sat back and smiled confidently�until the transmitter began to sprint across town. As the blinking dot braked to a halt, I noted the location and moved into action. Thinking that the dog had gone wild in the wind, I grabbed my laptop and loped to my car, there to begin the search for the hound. Our town is blessed with a growing number of Wi-Fi (wireless fidelity) "hot spots," near which one can access the Internet from a laptop. Coffee shops and restaurants are increasingly offering this as a convenience to their clientele, though not necessarily to the hound police. Arriving at the known location I searched futilely, then drove to a nearby "hot spot" to again view the tracking map. By the look of things the Pious Puppy had somehow effected a miraculous movement to the other end of town, prompting my hot pursuit. As I pulled into the targeted parking lot my eye was attracted toward a bright beacon flashing some distance away. As I began to approach the area, the strobe stopped, leaving me to wonder where it had come from. I drove around, but apparently Spooky was on the move. I went back to another "hot spot," only to realize that the dog was apparently sprinting homeward, for the dot was now a blur. Never knew he had it in him. Dogless and dejected, I again entered the house, only to be jumped by both Spooky and my wife, each with a different agenda. My wife wanted to know why the dog collar turned into a lighthouse as she left to run errands. My explanation went well until I got to the part about intentionally leaving the gate open, causing her to cross her arms while issuing a immobilizing frown. Before turning and walking out of the room with the happy tailed dog in tow, she said: "What a bright idea." Spooky was last seen taking Lance out for a walk in the dark. You may track Lance down by sending a light-hearted note to [email protected]. DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - ODOT Road Cams