Document text
- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Valley&State Backpage O&E Sports Archives Classifieds Faith&Beliefs Obituaries Revels September 25, 2004 After the end, much to do By Steve Zimmerman Ashland Daily Tidings Tim Simonsen, owner-funeral director at Litwiller-Simonsen Funeral Home, hasn't seen HBO's "Six Feet Under" or A&E's "Family Plots," two of television's most popular shows. But he says he gets asked about them all the time. Tim Simonsen of Litwiller-Simonsen Funeral Home and Crematory has seen a recent rise in those opting for cremation. Simonsen moved to Ashland from Payette, Idaho, in the 1980s when he heard of the impending retirement of Gene Litwiller from the mortuary business. "I called him up and we hit it off right away," he said. "So my wife and I drove out to spend a weekend and by the end of it, we had decided it was what we wanted to do. That was the only reason we discovered Ashland." Simonsen said it has turned out to be a great decision. He, his wife and children love Ashland and what it has to offer. Simonsen said in the past 20 years, there has been one great change in the funeral business. "One of the biggest shifts in the mindsets of people has been from burial toward cremation," he noted. "When we came here, of all the deaths we would handle, 25-30 percent involved cremation. Now, it is closer to 73 percent." One might think with the high cost of a funeral, cost may be a big factor in the shift. But Simonsen said that is not necessarily the case. "We actually are a pretty affluent town when all is said and done,' he said. "That seems to be less than an issue other than just not wanting to spend money on a funeral on that final piece. People are attracted to the simplicity of the cremation." And, Simonsen explained, cremation can take many different forms. "There could be a viewing or there could be a full traditional service," he said. "In that instance, we don't do to the cemetery, we go to the crematory. The other end of that spectrum would be where nothing is done at all. We simply go to the place of death, bring them here, do the cremation and return the ashes to the family." With the rising cost of funerals, funeral planning is becoming more of the norm. Simonsen says having a plan can help the funeral director immensely. "People are much more aware of the need to plan," he said. "And not only when they are entering an age where the kids are out of the house and they realize they need to get some things settled, but also then they are facing a serious illness. "We are finding people have already arranged their funeral by the time death comes. It may or not be paid for, but in my mind, the important thing is that decisions are made to let us know what it is you want to do and who is in charge." Simonsen also said having the vital statistics on file at the funeral home allows the home to take care of all the details without having to look for them, which can be time consuming. It is a big issue when there is no family or little family left. If you are not prepared due to a sudden illness, Simonsen said his job is to explain all the options that are available and let the family make an educated decision. No matter how much he tries to soften the blow, Simonsen said death can still make people very uncomfortable. "We still see a lot of that,' he said. "I have had people who don't want to come into the building because of what it stands for. Although, I find when I am visiting with new acquaintances and they find out what I do, the response is always a series of questions. So there is an interest but there is still an underlying fear of death." Simonsen's three children have assisted him in his duties at one time or another. But none of them are, at this time, following in their father's footsteps. One is in medical school, one is in nursing school and the middle child is in EMT training. And that is not a problem for Simonsen. "I have purposely not encouraged any of them into the business," he said. "If it is the right fit for them, they will pursue that. It is too awkward. There are too many stories out there where it has been in the family and the father says, 'you will be in this business because it is the family business,' and sometimes that is an issue and can be a problem." Taking the business home with you occasionally is an inevitability regardless of what business you are in. That is where Simonsen's wife Kathy helps immensely. "She is in the medical side of things as well so she has an understanding," he said. "That family unit I have is a part of my survival. If it has been a particularly rough day or week, being able to debrief with Kathy is vital to me. And the kids have been a part of that also." And, Simonsen said, a sense of humor can be a valuable tool for a funeral director. In fact, some of the most comical people in any given city often are the funeral director. "I have met some who do not have a sense of humor," he said. "I am not sure if it is a contrast to the pressures of the day or if it is just part of who I am. But humor and laughter is a part of who I am. "In fact, I am finding humor is just as vital for grief and therapy as crying is. If I am sitting down with a family making the arrangements and it is really tense, if there is something that comes up that I can allow them to laugh over, it is a huge thing. You see the tension fall away." DailyTidings.com Home Page Valley&State | Backpage | O&E | Sports | Archives | Weather | Classifieds Columnists | Faith&Beliefs | Obituaries | Revels | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2004 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Click Here Site Search: .:Advertisements:. RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams