Mail Tribune News - Quantity and quality

Mail Tribune (Medford, OR — Wayback)

2001-07-08

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Quantity and quality Jim Craven photos Breakfast at the Ronda household begins with a family prayer. Jami and Steven Ronda say God has blessed them with their full life and 4-year-old quadruplets. The children are, clockwise from left, Anneliese, Mark, Matthew and Andrew. Jami Ronda has more reason to celebrate Mother's Day than she would have thought possible a few years ago By DANI DODGE Mornings start out quietly at the Ronda household. One yawning, stretching 4-year-old slips out of his bunk bed, his pj's on backward, and pads barefoot down the hall. Then another. Then another. Then another. It's 6:05 a.m. Jami and Steven Ronda -- parents of 4-year-old quadruplets -- have already been up an hour. Enjoying the lull. Enjoying coffee. Enjoying each other. But now -- and for the rest of the day -- it's family time. "I'm hungry," announces Andrew. "I want to watch a video," mews Anneliese. "Mommy can you make us oatmeal maybe?" The Ronda quads -- Anneliese, Mark, Matthew and Andrew -- were delivered by Caesarean section 10 weeks premature at Rogue Valley Medical Center on April 2, 1996, the first quadruplets born in Jackson County. Each baby spent at least a month in the neonatal intensive care unit. Despite birth weights ranging from 1 pound, 11 ounces to 3 pounds, 3 ounces, the quads have flourished. Now each May, Jami Ronda celebrates more of a Mother's Day than she ever could have dreamed. During their first year, the Medford quads were reaching milestones months behind their peers. Since then they've caught up. And then some. They happily count to 20, although they sometimes forget 15. They say "please" and "thank you" -- even to each other. When Anneliese crawls to the edge of the high-backed couch and finds herself stuck precariously between the couch and the stairs, her brother Matthew grabs her around her waist and helps her down. Without prompting from parents. Only memories of potty training put a look of horror on their mother's face. "It was unbelievably awful," Jami says, laughing. "It was so hard." People who know the family can't talk about them without awe in their voices. "The children are so very well behaved," said Kathi Ehrlich, who spends Tuesday mornings with the children so Jami can have time to run errands and enjoy an occasional coffee break. "It's a wonderful Christian environment they are being raised in, and Jami is a fantastic mother -- totally dedicated to her four children and husband." During the children's first year of life, more than a dozen volunteers brought meals or took shifts helping the new family. Several, like Ehrlich, stayed through the night once or twice a week so the parents could get some sleep. Jami says she will always be grateful for the help, but after a year she and Steven decided it was time to put away the crutch and start to rely primarily on their strength as a family. Now just Ehrlich comes and stays for a few hours once a week. And one former helper takes the children out one at a time for an individual "date." Jami's mother, Linda Lee Duelley, says her daughter somehow is able to look at life's big picture instead of getting frustrated by little, everyday annoyances. "She's adjusted beyond my wildest dreams," Duelley says. Duelley credited Jami's patience and strength to her faith. "All mothers have to be unselfish to a degree," Duelley says. "If you are a wife and mother, sometimes you come last. And that is hard to do without some kind of faith in something bigger than yourself." Throughout the day, Christian music floats from a small portable radio -- although it's sometimes inaudible over the din of four 4-year-olds talking over each other or having a grand time building houses out of couch cushions. The children sleep in a small room dominated by two bunk beds on either wall with a Band-Aid of carpet between them. After they wake, they troop into the living room, curling up on the couch in an addition Steven and his father built after the children were born. The addition expanded the north Medford home from about 1,270 square feet to 1,826. It has an upstairs loft where Steven, a pharmaceutical representative, has his home office. But there's still often so much noise in the house that he takes business calls in the bedroom or the garage. The house also has a playroom -- where toys stay; that's the rule -- and a remarkable orderliness for a home with one child, let alone four. 6:30 a.m. It takes the children about a half-hour to shed their sleepiness. Anneliese is usually first to be fully alert. "I want to be a ballet girl," she says, slipping on a stiff tulle skirt and doing wobbly pirouettes. "I want to be a Hot Wheel car driver," Andrew shouts as he pantomimes driving a high-speed, out-of-control dragster around his dancing sister. Mark turns his back to his siblings and goes back to sleep on the couch. Matthew is entranced by a video of a Dragon Tails cartoon. 6:45 a.m. The Ronda parents start breakfast. Each has a specialty: Steven cooks the potatoes, eggs, bacon and sausage; Jami is queen of the pancake griddle and waffle iron. Whoever has a free hand slices some fruit. The Rondas rarely resort to cold cereal. They believe in "real" breakfasts. "They started off disadvantaged by being born two months early," Steven says. "So we wanted to give them all the advantages." The kids set the table, putting a vitamin on each plate. 7 a.m. Breakfast. Steven rings a bell and the kids come running. They all hold hands as they say a prayer before digging into pancakes, sausage and apple slices. In addition to solid breakfasts, the Rondas give their children strong discipline and big doses of love. When one of the children acts up, he's sent to his room and told not to come out until he's happy. About 10 minutes later, he emerges with the biggest, fakest grin imaginable on such a small face. But also, he's in a better mood. 7:45 a.m. After breakfast, Jami sits the children down at a play table to color. Steven hides in the bedroom with a portable phone to take a conference call. The children each have their own box of crayons -- with lids that reflect their own signature colors: Andrew red, Matthew blue, Mark green and Anneliese pink. Jami rips thick drawing paper from long rolls. Between praising each child's artistic interpretations of trees and cats and alligators, she cleans up the breakfast mess. For many families, feeding this many mouths could spell financial ruin, but the Rondas budget only $380 a month for food. They also give more than 10 percent of their income to church and charities, and try to stick 7 or 8 percent into savings. Jami says that Steven is the financial whiz, but they work together to have the discipline not to spend. They buy food in bulk. Their snacks are simple: carrot sticks and maybe popcorn before bed. They grow many of their own vegetables. They buy clothes at thrift stores, or deeply discounted if new. Jami's only indulgence is a fancy three-chocolate iced latte from a drive-through coffee shop when she's out with the children. "God has just always made a way for us raising these kids," Jami says. "Whenever they've had new needs, someone calls and offers Steven a new, higher-paying job." When Jami got pregnant, Steven was working at Kay-bee Toys. Then when she had the babies, he was a manager at Office Max. Now, he works for Pharmacia. Jami rarely goes more than a half-hour without remarking on her wonderful fortune. "We were trying for one baby -- and we had four," she says. "I don't think I could be more blessed than I am." 10:30 a.m. At Eagle hardware, all four children still fit in one shopping basket, although it's a tight squeeze. Jami wants to buy a hydrangea to plant in the front yard. A friend recently lost her baby, and Jami wants the plant as a remembrance. "I want to have a reminder to appreciate being a mother," she says. "I want to appreciate it every day because there's no guarantee." The family gets plenty of stares when they're out, as well as words of encouragement. Jami rarely has problems managing her brood. She doesn't hesitate to take the children to lunch by herself. Even though every car trip means getting four kids into four car seats. And out. And in. And out. Noon. As Jami makes a macaroni-and-cheese lunch, she thinks about her life before the quads and she laughs: "I realize I was such a lazy butt before I had kids." 1 p.m. Nap time. Jami plants the hydrangea in the front yard. Today's Edition : News | Sports | Business | Weather | Tempo | Classifieds Mail Tribune Copyright � The Mail Tribune 2000, Medford, Oregon USA