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Guest Opinion: Foster parents make a difference for Oregon children Sunday May 7, 2017 at 12:01 AM By Brooke Gray Right now, more than 8,000 children are in foster care in Oregon, and more than 60 percent will spend time in multiple foster homes — bouncing from home to home because there are simply not enough foster families. These statistics represent a child with stories, hopes, fears, dreams, and uncertainties. May is Foster Care Awareness Month. With a spirit of humility, I offer a bit of my journey, a glimpse into our home, our experience, and the community that has forever changed the life of the child in foster care who is part of our family. Dear Child, When I first got the call from my DHS caseworker asking if we could care for you, it was an easy “yes.” In the days and weeks that came, your personality and your story were revealed like layers of an onion, pulled back one by one. We built trust. We attached. I was struck by your bravery, your joy, your toothy grin and your quick affection. What you don’t know, sweetie, is that you came with the label, “foster child.” This label both follows you and often precedes you wherever you go. It has some ugly stereotypes, stigmas, and statistical outcomes. You’re more likely to suffer from diabetes and obesity. You’re more likely to be homeless. You’re less likely to attend college. You’re more likely to have a child involved with child welfare. This label does not define you, Child. Together, we’re writing a different story. This world may have expectations of you; in fact, it may even lower its expectations for you. But this world doesn’t get to write your story. You can blow up those expectations, Child. You will thrive despite your story and because of your story, but you can’t do it alone. As you grow up, you won’t remember every person who cared for you or who advocated for you. When you leave our home and return to your family, I want you to know that your army is massive. Pop, Nana, Grandpa, and Grandma. Aunts. Uncles. Teachers. Family friends. These are “our people” whom we introduced to you. They swept you up with love and intentionality. In our weekly rhythms, the time you spent with them made you stronger, braver and more self-assured. But, you came to my house — your foster home — with an entire team of people who were already fighting for you, Child. A caseworker; a DHS supervisor; a court appointed special advocate; a therapist; a doctor; a dentist; a lawyer. This is your army, Child. We are the army who loves you and who is fighting for you. While you play at the park, we’re fighting for you. While you’re at school, we’re working with your mom and your dad to get them safe and healthy — for you. What amazes me about your army, your community, is that it extends beyond the people whose names and faces we know. When you came to my house, you had a Welcome Box in your hand — a memory box full of items from a community member we will never meet. When you had a growth spurt, shoes and clothes were delivered to our home by someone who chose to give their items to you. Each week when you visit with your mom, you sit in a visitation room that’s been beautified by a team of people we’ll never know. During the holidays, you were inundated with gifts. There are heroes all around us, Child. And your community grows every day. Thank goodness, because here’s the truth, my Child: I can’t do it alone, either. We need community. We need each other. We’re better together. As you leave our family and return to yours, remember that you are not alone in this life. Remember that you are strong and courageous. Despite what any statistics may say or labels may insinuate, your community is fighting for you so that you can do great things. The irony is that your life made a big impact in our community. And, while we’ve linked arms on your behalf, you’ve transformed us and made us better. You’ve made us stronger. And that is quite the legacy to leave, Dear Child. With love, Your foster mom, Brooke — Brooke Gray is executive director of government partnerships for the Portland Leadership Foundation. PLF facilitates Every Child Oregon, an initiative designed to mobilize Oregonians to say "Yes!" to foster care. To learn more about what you can do to care for kids in care, go to www.everychildoregon.org.