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67 °F Forecast | Road Cams Thursday, September 16, 2004 Today's News | Classifieds | Autos | Homes | Jobs | Tempo | Health | Community | Home Delivery SECTIONS Home Page Local News Sports Business Obituaries Life Opinion - Politics Tempo AP News Weather Classified Archives Site Map SPECIAL SECTIONS Since We Asked Outdoor Journal How To Guide Wellness Connection Readers' Choice Real Estate Showcase Joy Magazine Homelife Magazine Wedding Guide Rogue Valley's Finest EXTRA Newspaper in Education Personals Movie Times TV Times E The People MARKETPLACE Find a Car Find a Home Find a Job Classifieds Place an ad eSouthernOregon Automotive Communities Entertainment Publications Recreation Calendar CUSTOMER SERVICE Frequent Questions Advertising Information Home Delivery Employment Contact Us Media Kit Network Affiliate Oregon Road Conditions & Cams Email Story to a Friend April 30, 2004 Buddhist teachings can help caregivers comfort the dying By BILL KETTLER Mail Tribune Frank Ostaseski says death can teach us about living. "The presence of death gives an urgency to our lives," he says in a telephone interview from California, where he founded the first Buddhist hospice in America in 1987. "It shows us life’s precariousness and reminds us not to waste it. If there’s someone we love, we tell them. If there’s something we want to do, we do it. We’re a bit kinder to one another." Ostaseski has worked with the dying for more than 25 years, bringing a Buddhist’s sense of compassion and mindfulness to end-of-life care. His work has been featured in print and on television, and he serves as a consultant to several health-care organizations. He’s in Southern Oregon today and Saturday to conduct a two-day workshop on "Being a Compassionate Companion" for Asante Hospice. "Death is much more than a medical event," he says. "Working with the dying is much more about relationships." Ostaseski says Buddhism’s notions of "mindfulness" — focusing attention on the immediate present — and the impermanence of human existence can help caregivers develop the mental attitude to provide compassionate care during the last days of life. Advertisement "We draw on the Buddhist tradition," he says, "without hitting people over the head with Buddhist doctrine." Ostaseski says end-of-life care must address two basic fears: first, that dying will cause pain; and second, that the living will abandon the dying. Modern medicine is getting better at treating pain, but still does little to address emotional issues such as abandonment, he says. "This is where our medicine fails. We’re not accustomed to being with other people’s suffering." He says sharing someone’s suffering requires "a certain amount of intimacy, a willingness not to turn away from suffering" that is increasingly scarce in modern America. "Grandma used to die in the parlor and everybody was a little less afraid," he says. "We’re missing that now." Along with avoidance of death, Americans leave themselves little space to grieve the loss of a loved one. People in other cultures routinely have grieving rituals that give them a year or more to adjust to loss, but Americans seem to expect grief to pass like a summer shower. "In the most progressive companies, we might have three days of bereavement leave," he says, "and then you’re supposed to come back Monday and go to work." Ostaseski came into hospice after working in refugee camps in Mexico and Latin America and helping AIDS patients. He found himself increasingly interested in the spiritual aspects of care for the dying. "There are no generalities" when people consider their own mortality, he says. "Everyone is absolutely unique. "Some people focus on the dying process. Others tend to think about what happens after you die. I’m always fascinated by what people think about this." For more information about Asante Hospice, call 608-5005. Reach reporter Bill Kettler at 776-4492, or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home Local News | Sports | Business | Obituaries | Life Opinion - Politics | AP News | Archives | Site Map E Southern Oregon | Classified Copyright © 1997-2004 Mail Tribune. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions Website Feedback ADVERTISERS A D V E R T I S E R S SPECIAL SECTIONS Auto Finder Job Finder Home Finder Joy Magazine Homelife Magazine Tempo Readers' Choice Real Estate Showcase Since We Asked Outdoor Journal Moving to Southern Oregon? Volunteer Opportunities