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Ads target domestic violence issue TV spots seek to get guys talking By SUSAN JAY Larry Slessler's personal observations of racism and the trauma of violence have led him to fight another centuries-old problem. When a community group asked him and a colleague how to involve nonviolent men in the issue of domestic violence, his experience spoke to him. The result: a unique public awareness campaign, with TV spots, newspaper ads and posters showing men talking to men and taking a stand against domestic violence. Television viewers may already have seen the two TV spots that started airing Friday at key times during male-oriented shows such as sports events. One involves male friends at a barbecue, the other buddies in a locker room. Newspapers will also run special ads and a number of businesses have agreed to place posters in the workplace encouraging men to ``Take a stand against DOMESTIC VIOLENCE." The TV spots, newspaper ads and posters all include the phone number of Community Works Helpline, 1-888-609-HELP, or 779-HELP. Callers will be able to talk to someone about domestic violence, and will be sent information that suggests what they can do. The locker room TV shot is aimed at younger guys and opens with Ted looking in the mirror and saying "she makes me so mad ... sometimes I want to smack her!" His buddy, Mike, tells him to go take a cool shower. When he goes, his friend Dan asks Mike if Ted would really hit his partner. ``Somebody should talk to him," Dan says. When Ted returns, Mike says to him, "... Dan and I want to talk to you about something you just said." The idea for a public awareness campaign showing men talking to men sprang from conversations between Slessler and his colleague Jim Fong, Medford branch manager for Adult and Family Services. They wondered what they could do to encourage other men like themselves to get involved. Then the light went on for Slessler. "I'm old enough to remember in the '50s and '60s, and how in locker room and barbecue conversations there could be racial and gender jokes, the kind of things that aren't cool" now, Slessler said. But back then no one said anything. Today such comments wouldn't be tolerated, thanks to the civil rights movement and continuing public awareness. And that's what Slessler hopes will eventually happen to domestic violence -- that someday it will not be tolerated. Slessler, 59, a program manager at The Job Council, is a Medford native. He remembers the '50s and '60s well, because he experienced racism against his military friends when they were stationed in the South. His black commanding officer refused to go into a Georgia restaurant with him once. When Slessler kept asking him to come in with him,, his commander finally said, "You don't get it, do you? I can't." The monumental shift in racial attitudes after the civil rights movement, Slessler said, shows that that inequitable and abusive societal norms can be changed. "I think what we're talking about here is to build awareness," he said. "Let's first get awareness out that it's not OK to stand by and condone abuse." He and Fong applied for and received a $29,000 grant from the state AFS office to produce the men-talking-to-men campaign. The TV spots, developed by a community consortium with help from a local ad agency, are expected to air around the state. Trinity Keeney, an outreach victim advocate, is a member of the consortium that helped design the campaign. Members include Dunn House, Asante Health System and Jackson County Community Corrections. The men-to-men approach, she said, "is an idea that needs to happen. Domestic violence is not just a women's issue, but an issue for all humans, when you consider that every 15 seconds a woman is battered." She said, "if we could get these nonviolent men to take a stand it would make such a difference." Mail Tribune Copyright � The Mail Tribune 1999, Medford, Oregon USA