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http://www.omniture.com --> Sections Home Page Local News AP News AP Entertainment Archives Business Classifieds Event Calendar Forums Life Opinion Obituaries Photo Gallery Readers Photo Gallery Sports Tempo Weather Special Coverage 2006 Britt Festivals --> Shop Our Valley AutoFinder HomeFinder JobFinder Search Our Valley Special Sections Distinctly Northwest Readers' Choice Homelife Magazine Joy Magazine Holiday Guide Oregon Golf Info Oregon Wine Info Other Publications Local Links Ashland News eSouthernOregon Newspapers In Education Personals Moving Here Movie Listings TV Listings Volunteer Customer Service Advertise With Us Media Kit Place Classified Ad Contact Us FAQ's Home Delivery Site Map --> Email Story to a Friend December 28, 2006 Click image for larger view Steven Adolf, a veteran from the Gulf War in 1991, sought help from Veterans Affairs in August after becoming suicidal. He recently completed a substance-abuse program and now encourages veterans from the current Iraq War to seek help immediately if they need it. �Seeking help right from the get-go is the best thing you can do,� he says. (Mail Tribune / Roy Musitelli) Ghosts from the O.R. Gulf War veteran takes steps to attain sobriety after self-medicating away his chilling nightmares from hospital About this series The Mail Tribune talks with those whose lives at home are touched by war — spouses who cope while their loved ones are half a world away, soldiers who leave the war behind but not the vivid memories. The series began on Tuesday. Today — An operating room technician from the first Gulf War says he finally sought help after self-medicating the pain nearly caused his death. For previous stories, see the Mail Tribune's Web site at www.mailtribune.com and click on "Local News" on the left-hand side. By PAUL FATTIG Advertisement Life was good for Steven Adolf when the former Army operating room technician returned from the Gulf War in 1991. He was greeted heartily by family and strangers alike who clapped him on the back and wanted to shake his hand. "Right when you first return, you are happy to be home, happy to see your loved ones," said Adolf, 39, who also qualified as a combat medic. "We were treated so much better than the way the Vietnam vets were treated. "But then the nightmares started kicking in," he added. "I would see people in the operating room again — amputations, bullet wounds, land mine wounds." Adolf, who hails from Portland, is now a patient at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs' Southern Oregon Rehabilitation Center and Clinics in White City. He arrived in mid-August after becoming suicidal, the result of trying to quit — cold turkey — efforts to self-medicate his nightmares away. The former sergeant was part of the Army Reserve's 50th General Hospital that was deployed to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, during the Gulf War from Jan. 13, 1991, until mid-March of that year. His job involved handing medical instruments to surgeons battling to save a wounded soldier's life. "I would follow cues from the surgeon for whatever instrument was needed," he said. "Stateside, I had dealt with a lot of different patients with different issues, including infants. But it's a lot different seeing what weapons can do to a human body. "A lot different," he reiterated softly. There were times in Riyadh when his unit could do little more than make the last few hours of a mortally wounded soldier's life as comfortable as possible. "There were those who didn't make it," he said. "Being a person who thrived on high stress back then, I focused on what I could do for that individual. In the back of your mind, you tried to think that person went to a better place." And he kept his mind on those they had saved. "When you are young and highly trained, you are able to keep that focus," he said. "But years down the road, it will come back and bite you on the ass." As a result, many veterans turn to drink or drugs to escape the memories, he said. "I would cowboy up but when things got bad, I would do what many vets end up doing," he said. "I'd start self-medicating with alcohol or drugs to escape from that reality. "The holidays are always difficult because it was around that time when we were getting ready to go to war," he added. "Of course, our war didn't turn out to be anything like the big quagmire that we have now in Iraq. Everybody is getting a taste of what it's like over there, even those in the rear." Although Adolf doesn't compare his experiences to those in combat, he said the bloody scenes in the operating room, Scud missile attacks and waking up to alarms in the dark and pulling on his chemical suit were memories enough to last a lifetime for him. In addition to members of the coalition force, he helped care for Iraqi prisoners of war. "Most of the Iraqis had perforated eardrums — they had dried blood in their ears," he said. "We had to cut their uniforms off." He suspects there were chemicals on the uniforms from chemical weapons used by the Iraqis in that war. "The Iraqis did have chemical munitions then," he said. "And these Iraqis were hiding in those bunkers. We had chemical alarms going off all the time. They were deemed all false alarms. We found that strange because our equipment was always so accurate before we deployed." After the war, he experienced skin rashes for the first time in his life. His hair started falling out. His gums bled. "I carried that for about three years before I got help," he said, referring what he suspects was Gulf War Syndrome. "I was told I couldn't go back to work in the medical field until they determined what we may have been exposed to. I never went back to my medical career." A lifelong avid reader, Adolf doesn't read as much now because of a chronic headache which he believes was triggered by exposure to those chemicals. "It keeps me from being able to concentrate like I used to," he said. After the war, he worked in construction, then eventually became an apartment maintenance man in Portland. "I guess I sort of saw that as kind of like being in the operating room," he said. "You aren't fixing people but you are fixing things. "Of course, you can't always fix the person who comes in," he added. Adolf is now concentrating on fixing himself. He has completed SORCC's substance-abuse program. He also makes a point of talking to veterans from the current war in Iraq. "Some of the veterans now returning are going immediately into programs like we have here," he said, referring to programs that help veterans reintegrate into civilian life. "They need that debriefing, even though they might not realize it now," he said. "One of my biggest issues was that I didn't come to the VA and ask for help right after the war." The longer a veteran deals with post-traumatic stress disorder or related issues, the bigger the problem can become, he has learned. "It becomes more hardwired in your mind and you may get to the point where only medication can help you," he said. "Seeking help right from the get-go is the best thing you can do. "I consider myself to be fortunate to be here," he added. "There are so many of us living under bridges or didn't seek the help all returning vets should do who need it. Eventually the alcohol or drugs will slowly take them or they end up taking themselves." Reach reporter Paul Fattig at 776-4496 or e-mail him at [email protected] . Would you like to respond to this story? If so Click Here to visit our forums. Advertisement Copyright © 1997-2007 Mail Tribune, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions | Website Feedback online casinos news Home Security Systems Online Casino Reviews Men's Clothing Fundraisers UK Homeowner Loans Discount Hotel Reservations Send Flowers Casinos Canada Texas Electric Choice Compare Electric rates in Texas Windermere Van Vleet Trunks, Footlocker Online poker at AbsolutePoker.com