Document text
4 Accession no.
.367
Date received
lu
Consignment no.
1
Shipped from
Label
Amount
10p
WPA L. C. PROJECT 7,r.""c1-0 UNIT
Form —3
L.S.J..ka.c.rCollection (or Type)
Title
Illinois Date 4;1`a:/ 9
Place of orighi;"•1'
Project worker
CtradliAg.
Project editor
Remarks
STATE
NAME OF WORKER
ADDRESS
DATE
SUBJECT
FORM C
Text of Interview (Unsdited)
CHICAGO FOLKS TUFF
Illinois
J. D. Stradling
553, South State Street
April 19, 1939
Hank's Specials
NAME OF INFORMANT- John Colnon
HANK'S SPECILLS
(The character of 'Hank' is vague. The idea might have begun
with some real individual. Be was evidently a wizard at
mixing drinks, with peculiar effects. He was sometimes called
Joe, Mac, August etc. The central idea is the same in each,
so it may be just a collection of whoppers that were told
about the same individual as in Paul Bunyan and Casey Jones)
As a bartender, Hank was much more of an artist. The
usual Tom Collins, dry Martinis and such stuff were child's
play. Likewise the Mickey Finn. His specialty was sizing up
a customer and prescribing the proper drink. His specials
were good for any ailment. When a customer came in with the
blues, the gout or the pip, Hank would study him a minute and
then turn to the back bar. Nobody knew just what he did and
he never told what vent into his concoctions because all the
other bartenders were jealous. His specials were things that
nobody but Hank could make.
He'd run his eye over the bottles on the back bar, take
a little of this and a little of that, hold it up to the light,
sniff it, taste it, and then add a little something else.
FOLKLORE
CHICAGO
No. Words
V
MAY 26 :239
W 3667
FORM C TUT -a-
CHICAGO FOLKSTUFF
And whatever it was it was always right. Hank got to curing
so many human ills that he got the doctors down on him and
they threatened to have him pinched for praotioing medicine
without a license. So Hank, being a good union man, gave up
curing people's ills and turned to other fields.
Hank got to be pretty popular with his fancy drinks.
He worked all over the country for somebody was always jealous
of his popularity and luring him away to a better job. He
knew some of the best people.
There was a little wyp used to come to a place where Hank
worked in New York. The mop was always broke and downhearted.
One night he said to Hank: "ammo if I could only sing. Maks
lotsa dough in da opera." So Hank thought it over and turned
to the back bar. He lased something slowly and carefully and
pushed it over the bar like it was holy oommunion. "Here, try
this," he said. Maybe you remember Caruso. Be was one of flank's
best friends.
Hank was out West one time. Somebody had been selling booze
aad guns to the Sigux. There was a young lad by the nano of
William Hickok in the saloon when the Indians hit town loaded
with booze. After a couple of Bank's specials, young Bill was
seeing double, so he shot two redskins with eaoh bullet and had
a couple left over. That was haw Wild Bill got his start.
FORM C TEXT -3-
CHIC/WO FOIKSTUFF
Sometimes Hank's specials were not so lucky. Joe, a
baldheaded man, had been having trouble with his wife. He
was feeling pretty low. "Hero, try this. It'll grow hair
on your chest," said Hank. It gave Joe a sudden idea. "By
golly," he said, "I've tried everything else on my head, I
might as well try this, too." So he took a bottle home.
His wife saw him fixing to put booze on his head and knew
he had been drinking again, so she beat him up and threw the
bottle out the window into a crick that ran behind the house.
Come Saturday, Joe went dawn to the crick to take a bath.
Hair sprouted all over him so fast that he was shot by mistake
for a grizzly before he could reach his clothes.
One night Hank was mixing up something for experiment.
A few drops fell on the floor. There was a mouse running
around under the bar. Suddenly the mouse rared up on its hind
lags, roared like a lion, and chased Hank and the bouncers
right out of the place.
Not long after, a pale little man with a worried look
asked Hank for a pick-me-up. Hank looked at the customer and
remembered the mouse. He ran his eye over the array of bottles
trying to remember what he had used. He took a little of this
and a little of that with the air of an artist and the care of
a drug clerk. "Try this," he said.
FORM C TEXT -4—
CHICAGO FOLKSTUFF
But Hank never made that again. The little man oouihed,
whooped, turned a book somersault off the stool and got up
fighting mad. *Where's that cope he yelled and went out
looking for the man on the beat. Soon the riot squad was out
and when he finished up with them, the customer looked around,
brushed his hands, and said: "Now where can I find them damn
Marines?"
Hank ems he might be accessory to murder so he went to
work in the opposite direction. A husky longshoreman :same in
looking for trouble. He was too big and tough for three bar-
tenders so the boss said to slip him a Mickey. But Hank slip-
ped him his new special. The tough egg was mighty surprised
to find wings sprouting out on his shoulders. He broke out in
a hymn and went out looking fora soap box to start preaching.
Hank thought it was a good idea and mixed his special for a
lot more. But it got the preachers down on him. There were
revival meetings on every corner. The preachers threatened to
close the saloon if Hank did any more so the boss told Hank to
lay off.
Lots of times Hank's specials were too good. There was
the young lady who tipped off Hank in advance that her sweet-
heart didn't love her any more. Hank studied hard on the
problem and when she brought her fiance in, Hank was all ready
for him. But it didn't work out right. She was nearly raped
FORM C TEXT -6
CHICAGO FOLKSTUFF
out one shriek of the whistle and all Newt could do was grab
hold of a stanchion and hang on.
The Rook Island was due in K. C. at 8:30 and rolled in at
7:45. There was no sign of the 41. Pretty soon they got a wire
from Nowt asking what time the R.I. got in. The dispatcher wired
beck: "R. I. in forty five minutes ahead of schedule. Mere are
you broke down!" But Newt wired back: "Broke down, Hell. We
just got her stopped in Colorado."
Bank was very sad when Prohibition oame along for he couldn't
do very much with white mule and bathtub gin. Folks had lost all
appreciation of real art. They were drinking their dynamite raw
and thinking it quite an accomplishment. Those were the days when
a customer mould down a green jolt turn a couple of somersaults,
get up, push his eyes back in his head, and say: "Gosh, that was
good1"
But Hank never gave up and kept on experimenting. One day he
was mixing up something from bootleg hootoh. He got up the courage
to try it himself. Everything was all right for a minute and then
something went Wham. Hank was never seen again. Seems the ingredi-
ents of that one were all right while they were iced but when they
got warmed up inside Hank they exploded.
A lot of saloons and speakeasies claimed that Hank had worked
for them. Once he was gone, they all tried to cash in on his
popularity. But the meanest of all was a speakeasy in St. Louis
FORM C TEXT -7.
CHICAGO FOIESTUFF
that had a large brawn spot on the ceiling. Whenever anyone
would says "I wonder what became of BMW they'd point to
the ceiling and says "See that big grease spot up there with
arms and legs like a man? 1111, that's Hank."
FOLKLORE
FORM D
Extra Comment
CHICAGO FOLKS TUFF
STATE Illinois
NAME OF WORKER J. D. Stradling
ADDRESS 553 South State Street
DATE April 19, 1939
SUBJECT Hank's Specials
NAME OF INFORMANT John Colnon
CHICAGO
The title 'Hank's Specials' is my own because I.knew of no
other. It seems this was a sort of legend growing up to the
time of .erohibition but not now current. One episode was added
during Prohibition to show what became of Hank but there seems to
be nothing nowadays. My informant says there are more incidents
that he can't remember. The various episodes are told under a number
of different names but it seems to be all one story, told in various
ways, in different places. Informant says it was gotten together
as a connected story in one of the newspapers about twenty five years
ago and he is trying to remember. Might be possible to find some
more of it.