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--> --> N-Sync concert is just fine for kids By Patti Morey Ashland Daniel Bowden's August 6th commentary, "Love Your Kids," seemed to bewail modern culture's abominable values and society's iniquitous influences on our children. That lament's been sung since Pliny the Elder, even since Dingir Inanna and MuTu of the Tree People and undoubtedly by every parent back to Adam and Eve. ("You call that music?") Ironically, the sociocultural values that shaped the previous generation, imposed upon the present one, are what inevitably cause all the brouhaha. For example, Mr. Bowden wrote, "when your child tells you that they NEED the latest N-Sync CD, sit them down and discuss the difference between need and want. Tell them that no means no and that repeat nagging will not be heeded. And stick to your guns." "Stick to your guns?" Eh? What does that mean? Probably, back in the day when John Wayne's trigger-happy movie hero modeled the American sociocultural ideal of authority, parents "took a shot at" such things as "sticking to their guns" and "biting the bullet" and "targeting" their parental aims in a "surefire" manner. But today the gun metaphor is meaningless as well as inappropriate when discussing child-rearing. (Note how even language is influenced by sociocultural values. There's simply no escape. We're all the products of the culture and society in which we live, whether deprived of or enriched by it). So, I think the best we can do as parents is to model and try to teach our children everlasting values - timeless virtues of goodness, beauty, humor, wisdom, forgiveness, charity ... I think what ultimately matters is what our children will look back on all the rest of their lives with happiness, for meaning. What things they'll remember when they're facing the grave. As a parent and having acknowledged my own mortality, I can tell you right now - any moment of joy is infinitely more memorable than the money it cost. Money comes and goes, but the precious experiences it enables us to have will last forever, and that's what it's there for. Thus, I think if the child "needs" an N-Sync CD, the parent should go ahead and buy it for them. Just like the teddy bear or doll they once needed, it's something that connects them with you and their friends and their culture, makes them happy and has so much meaning to them at the time. That should be honored. Childhood years are precious and fleeting, sometimes tragically cut short. Children should know that their happiness is important; not something to be dismissed or judged ridiculous by the old generation's values. For goodness sake, Mr. Bowden, take the child to an N-Sync concert. It's more than music; it's how you affirm and support their need and want for individuality while they're still dependent upon you. Long after they're grown and N-Sync is passé, your child will remember the way you helped them learn more about themselves. And, they'll remember how you respected their need and want to attain personal identity within the context of contemporary society and culture. They'll raise their own children with the same everlasting focus that survives the generations. Email your... Technical questions & comments to: WebMaster Daily Tidings editorial comments & questions to: Editor Visit our other Oregon Newspapers... | Albany Democrat-Herald | Ashland Daily Tidings | Corvallis Gazette-Times | | Lebanon Express | Newport News-Times | Springfield News | Cottage Grove Sentinel | Ashland Daily Tidings 1661 Siskiyou Blvd. Ashland, OR 97520 Telephone 541-482-3456 © Copyright 2001 Lee Northwest Publishing