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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us June 5 , 2006 Tales From The Crib Do divorces come in waves? Jennifer Margulis By Jennifer Margulis Tidings Correspondent It’s happening again. Everyone we know is getting divorced. Or maybe it just seems that way. When Judy (names were changed in this column to protect people’s privacy) failed to appear at a women’s party she had organized and the hostess called to ask where she was, Judy whispered into the phone that “things were bad,” really bad, with her husband. They had announced a week before that they were splitting up. I don’t know them very well, but they seemed like a solid couple. Then I found out that the parents of a friend of my six-year-old daughter, who have three kids, split up. They both seemed so relieved, and sad. “Things haven’t gone right for the last five years,” Dana confided, noticing the tears in my eyes when she told me. The family used to have an engraved brick in their front driveway with all their names on it. Two days ago when my three children and I went for a walk around the neighborhood, I noticed the brick was gone. Then there’s my husband’s aunt, who’s 61 and has one grown daughter. She and Uncle D. have been together for as long as I’ve known James. No one in the family was surprised, given Aunt Julie’s propensity for multiple husbands. But the collapse of their marriage hurt my heart. Her ex-husband was an affable, down-to-earth fellow who always seemed so much a part of the family. Now he’s gone. And when I called another acquaintance yesterday, the answering machine had only her husband’s voice on it. They have four small children. I bumped into their son’s teacher who told me, in a sad undertone, that they were splitting up. This happened when we lived in Massachusetts, too. All of a sudden it seemed like everyone was divorcing: from the man who owned the music shop to my good friend Siri. A doctor once told me that he noticed the popularity of vasectomies comes in waves. One person decides to get one, and then tells his buddies about it when they’re all sitting around having drinks and watching sports. The next day all those guys are calling the doctor to make appointments. Is that anything like the way divorce comes in waves? We find out someone else took the sad, brave step of leaving an unhappy relationship, and we decide we can do it too? All three of my children love reading about Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. These fairytales end after the slighted, beautiful heroines are safely married. They find their true princes and live happily ever after. But marriage isn’t like that. It isn’t always happy. And more than half the time, in the United States anyway, it isn’t forever. When I look at the couples we know splitting up, how do I know James and I won’t be next? I don’t. I can’t be smug about it and know the future with any degree of certainty. I can only hope that we’ll be able to work through the hardships that come our way. We’ve been together for 10 years already, and I want us to be together until our hair is gray and our bodies hunched with age. I want us to stay together not only “for the children” but for ourselves too, which means that our relationship has to stay alive, interesting, passionate, and intimate enough to fulfill us both. Maybe I’m so sad about this recent wave of divorces because I’m afraid we’ll be next. It’s time to stop writing this column and tell my husband how much I love him. Jennifer Margulis is the author/editor of three books. She lives in Ashland with one steadfast husband, three fickle children and four wild deer. Her book, “Why Babies Do That,” just won a Midwest Independent Publishers Award. DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Ceramic Piggy Banks Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Backpacks Online Pharmacy Mailing Lists Vegas Travel Guide Search Engine Optimization Student Loans Hammocks Water Filter Custom Made Computers Helzberg Diamonds Online Casinos Community Bonus Casino Mortgage Calculator Security Systems Click Here Advertisement .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams