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- Subscribe - Contact Us - Rate Card - Place an Ad Archives Revels Classifieds Real Estate Menu Guide Wedding Weather Subscribe Contact Us May 3, 2005 A new take on metonomy By Doyle Hirsch Ashland A local newspaper recently ran an article decrying the use of vulgar language by teenagers. Although my teenage years ended in the early ’60s, and I don’t know, maybe it’s the times, but I find it difficult to get through even a couple of sentences without using the so-called “F-word,” which I hypocritically can’t write down here, even though middle-schoolers are hearing and using it dozens of times a day. The power of said word has been vitiated a bit through overuse, but the unenlightened (which is definitely the majority right now) still find the word offensive, and god knows, I try to go through life not offending anyone. So I’ve come up with a solution for those of us whose paucity of vocabulary force them to rely on coarse interjections to get their point across. It’s called “metonomy.” Now metonomy is a figure of speech defined as: substituting one word of phrase for another, the substituting word having some characteristic of the word or phrase substituted for. Let me give you a couple of examples: “Today the White House said that god hates Democrats (Zell Miller excepted, of course).” The White House didn’t say anything. The president, or his representative on Earth said it. The phrase “White House” is meant to represent the president. It’s a substitute or “metonomy.” Here’s another example: “Military brass declared that victory in Iraq was at hand.” “Military brass” didn’t say anything. It was some tin-horn general making that statement. Brass was used as some sort of amorphous stand-in for a real person. Now that you’re clear on the concept, let me show you how I would apply metonomy to the infamous “F-word.” I would replace said vulgarity with what some might call a more innocuous term, coincidentally also containing four letters, which has the essence of the aforementioned term, but doesn’t contain most of the offending phonemes. And that word is: “Bush.” Here’s how you’d use it. “Hey, you just dropped a bar-bell on my Bushing foot.” “Bush-off, creep!” Or how about: “Why don’t you take a flying leap at the moon and at the same time go Bush yourself?” Ain’t that a simple solution? And if successful, why not just keep going with other terms: “Hey, buddy, kiss my Cheney!” or “Nuts! I just stepped in a big pile of dog-Frist.” The prospects are virtually endless. And we can return to the polite discourse that I’m sure the Founding Fathers intended when they wrote the First Amendment. All I can say is “Bushing A!” DailyTidings.com Home Page Archives | Revels | Classifieds | Real Estate Guide | Weather | Subscribe | Contact Us Copyright 2005 Ashland Daily Tidings and Ottaway Newspapers All Rights Reserved Deep Muscle Stimulator Ceramic Piggy Banks FREE Entertainment Guide Women's & Men's Slippers Accelerate Weightloss Products Backpacks Online Pharmacy Vegas Travel Guide Search Engine Optimization Student Loans Hotel & Airline Reservations Hammocks Water Filter Helzberg Diamonds Online Casinos Community Bonus Casino Mortgage Calculator Security Systems Mailing Lists Click Here Advertisement .:Advertisements:. Site Search: RESOURCES - Mail Tribune News - ODOT Road Cams