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Don�t even bother, they�ve heard it Mail Tribune / Jim Craven Oregon State Police volunteer Charles "Red" Smith writes a citation for a car parked in a disabled-parking spot with an expired permit. Smith and other parking patrol volunteers say they�ve heard every excuse in the book from drivers who parked illegally "just for a minute." By Mark Freeman It�s happened so often that Charles "Red" Smith and his fellow volunteer parking patrol members have long lost count, yet each lazy driver who uses it talks as if it�s an original excuse that just might work. I am parked illegally in the disabled parking space outside this store but it�s really no big deal, the motorist says, because I ran in for just one minute. That one minute just cost him $250. That�s the bail on the ticket that Smith, an Oregon State Police volunteer parking patrolman, will write as the offending motorist pleads his or her case in vain. "I just let them talk without saying anything," says Smith, 76. "And when they�re done, I tell them, �Tell it to the judge.� " The I-just-ran-in-for-a-minute line is tops in an array of excuses so popular among disabled-parking offenders that the OSP volunteers who enforce this rule have actually assembled and ranked the top 12 most common excuses. The excuses may sound fine to ticketed drivers, but none comply with statutes demanding no one park or even stop in the blue-marked slots reserved for those with valid disabled-parking placards. This place isn�t even open for business. I�m doing an errand for a disabled person. I have Grandpa�s placard, which was issued to this car. "We�ve heard every excuse imaginable," says Marge Simonsen, the program�s volunteer coordinator who has been patrolling disabled slots here for eight years. "They start talking, and I don�t even bother to answer, because there is no answer." Teams of two volunteers take four- to five-hour shifts rolling ever so slowly in white OSP cruisers through lots at stores, malls and restaurants solely to enforce the disabled-parking rules. They write about 50 tickets and 50 warnings a month. There is no sign, only the logo on the ground. I�m not parked because I didn�t turn off the ignition. I would move if I saw that the space was needed by a disabled person. "When they say that one," says Simonsen, who is disabled, "I say, �Well, you didn�t see us drive up. How do you know someone didn�t need it?� Then I give them the ticket." Costco shoppers are the worst, garnering 54 citations in 2000. After that, it�s a toss-up between the Rogue Valley Mall, Wal-Mart, the Medford Center and Poplar Square. "Some people, in their minds, don�t think they�re doing anything wrong to park there for a moment and run into the store," says volunteer Marv Hatton, 71. "I just try to be nice to them, but tell them that these spots are here for a reason." I was told I could park here. I didn�t see the logos or stripes, or I wouldn�t have parked here. I own this place of business. Simonsen recalls one case outside a Medford store when the woman in the offending vehicle peppered her with an assortment of excuses. "She said, �I�m only here for a minute, my husband owns this place, it�s not even open, and I�m a teacher,�" Simonsen says. "She went on and on and on, and I just wrote the ticket. It was unreal." I wasn�t parked in the disabled space, just on the slash marks next to it. There is no place else to park. But even the most seasoned volunteers aren�t immune to odd excuses. One day at a local Fred Meyer store, Simonsen rolled up to spy a large, elevated pickup truck with a young guy in the cab and a rott-weiler in the bed. When the guy saw Simonsen approach, "I could tell the wheels in his head were spinning," she says. The guy then told Simonsen that he was trying to get his rottweiler more socialized, and he was parked there because he wanted his dog to be sensitive to disabled people as well. "I just looked at him with my mouth open," she says. "And he drove off." Reach reporter Mark Freeman at 776-4470, or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2001 Mail Tribune, Inc.