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Unmarried partners' numbers nearly double By JONEL ALECCIA Having been burned by love, Jan Cooley and Jim McChesney were worried about getting scorched again. So when the Ashland couple's friendship heated into romance five years ago, they decided to simmer: They dated for a while, then moved in together. "It was scary having it click," she said. "Was it a rebound click or a real click?" A year ago, Cooley, 54, and McChesney, 52, decided the click was real and got married. But the ceremony came too late. As far as the 2000 U.S. Census is concerned, the McChesneys are part of burgeoning numbers of "unmarried partners" locally and nationwide. "We had been friends for years," she said. "When we became more than friends, we wanted to make sure it would work." Census figures released Tuesday show the number of unmarried partners in Jackson County nearly doubled in the last decade, increasing 98 percent, from 2,188 couples in 1990 to 4,338 couples in 2000. That was dramatically higher than the state as a whole. In Oregon, the number of unmarried partners increased 68 percent from 1990 to 2000 - to 84,634, up from 50,246. Nationally, 5.5 million couples reported on the 2000 census that they are "unmarried partners." That represents 9 percent of all couples, married and unmarried, living together, a big jump from 1990, when 6 percent of couples said they were unmarried. For the first time, Census numbers attempted to quantify figures for same-sex couples as well as opposite-sex couples. In 1990, Census data included only a sampling of same-sex partners. In 2000, in Oregon and Jackson County, male-female couples accounted for nearly 90 percent of the total of unmarried partners. Same-sex partners accounted for about 10 percent of the total. In Jackson County, figures showed 203 male-male couples and 265 female-female couples. Male-female couples totaled 3,870. However, those figures almost certainly are low, advocates for gay and lesbian issues say. "I don't know whether they were afraid to fill out the form, but there's a lot more than that," said Les Krambeal, 50, a county counsel assistant from Ashland. "There's tremendous fear. It's the government, you know." For instance, figures showed 87 same-sex partners in Ashland, 136 in Medford, none in Phoenix, three in White City and seven in Eagle Point. "I grew up in Eagle Point, and I know there's more than that," Krambeal said. "There are a lot more gay people in Medford than in Ashland, probably double to triple." Krambeal and his partner, Gordon Owsley, 60, have lived together for 12 years. When they filled out the long-form Census data, they made sure to indicate they were same-sex domestic partners. "It's a matter of recognition, if nothing else, that we really are there," Krambeal said. But homosexual couples make up only a fraction of unmarried partners. For the vast majority, living together has become an acceptable option for several reasons, counselors and religious leaders say. Delayed marriage, easy access to birth control and economic ease make it attractive, says the Rev. Paul Robinson of the Congregational Church of Medford. "I rarely ever marry a couple who aren't already living together," said Robinson, who performs 12 to 15 ceremonies a year. "Living together without being married is no longer considered a sin." In addition, living together was attractive to people like the McChesneys, who both previously had been married - and divorced. "People are hesitant to get married because they made a mistake one time before and they don't want to do it again," Robinson said. Some couples look at living together as a step toward increased commitment, said Richard Jensen, a licensed professional counselor with Counseling Northwest in Medford. "But with unmarried couples, it's all conditional. There's not a lot of stability," he said. "Couples who have been happily unmarried will come in after they get married with issues." After three years of cohabitation and a year of marriage, Jan McChesney says being married is different - and better. "When you live together and you get ticked off at the other person, you think 'I don't have to do this'," she said. "When you're married and you have this 'Grrr' feeling, you have to say, 'This is it. And I'm going to make this work.' " Reach reporter JoNel Aleccia at 776-4465, or e-mail [email protected] Mail Tribune Home | Ottaway Newspapers, Inc. | Dow Jones & Co., Inc. | Privacy | Contact Us Copyright � 2001 Mail Tribune, Inc.